About a month ago we had our second son Aran. The fact is that due to the mood of the Spaniards and our “tomato” culture, free comments about the suitability or not of a second child are usually habitual.
In other words, it is common for people to give you their opinion without thinking that it can bother you. The sum of opinions means that in the end one doubts and does not know How many children does society consider to have today?
During this second pregnancy we received several comments that could be grouped into three generic phrases (they were not always the same, but they were similar):
1. "You are crazy, where you go with two children." O well "other? But if you already have one, don't you? ”.
Both phrases full of wisdom, as you see. In the past, when a couple had several children, they joked with kind comments “Do you want to set up a basketball team (5 members) or what?". Now any day someone will ask me if I was looking to ride a pair of tennis doubles (or what).
2. "Well, now it's done." And therein lies the thing. Now that's it, we've already met, right? Well, wing, it's over, that a third party is left over.
Other versions of this phrase are “Well, now it is. Two children and then if that the cat ”, in allusion that if as a couple you feel the need or the doubt of having another child, you can (must) placate her buying a pet, or even “Well, now it is. Your husband, let him have surgery, hahaha ” (no comment).
3. "Oh, two ... No, no, I already closed the factory, with the work they give". The phrase itself is somewhat more acceptable than the previous ones, however it can be associated with derogatory nonverbal communication (tone of voice or look that suggests a “I have done well”) and it is here that it deserves to be part of this comment group
I remember that whenever I heard or talked about this subject in petit committee the conclusion of the people and my own was that the desirable were three children.
One said that it was little, that he would lack company, two said that they ended up arguing with each other all day and three that it was an odd number that balanced the balance. Sometimes they would agree twice and other times two.
These conclusions are obviously the general feeling of a few years ago and not a mandate that we should follow. People You have to have the children you want and can (although for there to be generational relief they must have a minimum of two).
Our current thinking is to have a third party (they will tell us that we are going for the girl, of course) because we have always said that we would like to have three, but if with two we already receive comments that suggest that we are somewhat lacking in sanity I do not want to imagine what It will happen the day my wife is pregnant again, if that day comes.
In my (poorly calibrated) mind type phrases begin to appear "Are you from Opus?" or "This one has sneaked into you, right?"
So far, our response to all these comments is simple: "We love children."
For us they are the first and that is why we prefer two than one and we prefer three than two. Others will choose to have only one child, or live life in youth and see what the future holds, or stand with both, or not have any.
And in all this group of people there are no better or worse, there are only different people with different dreams, ideas and aspirations.
I have it clear, "every neighbor who takes care of your door", but all those people who love to talk (who are usually the ones who least like to listen) begin to limit the ideal number of children in one or at most two.
What do you think?
