Although it is not something very common or that happens to all of us, being humiliated or badly seen for breastfeeding in public is something that many mothers suffer.
Regularly disapproving looks come from strangers who feel they have the right to offend moms who breastfeed in public. But, Are we sure that it is only strangers who humiliate us for breastfeeding?
A photographer made a video in which she shows us that refusal to breastfeed in public, it also comes sometimes from the same family and friends.
Megan Soto is a photographer and mother of three children. She had a bad experience during Thanksgiving dinner, when an aunt refused to support her to breastfeed her 22-month-old son in front of her family.
After that experience, Megan shared what she lived on Facebook and some mothers began to tell her that they had also experienced rejection or humiliation by a family member. Then he decided that he would address the issue of breastfeeding in public, showing testimonies in which the same family had asked them to move away or hide. In total, 54 mothers sent her experiences, in which the closest members of her family, such as her parents or her siblings, reprove that they breastfeed in public.
The video opens with a message that reads:
"My parents did not meet my son until he was 7.5 months old, because they refused to be near us while I was breastfeeding."
It seems incredible, but it is something that many mothers live in silence. Probably some prefer to shut up and retire, rather than cause some conflict with the family. You also have to consider that retiring is the choice of the same mother, and you may not feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of the family. But in the video they show us cases in which the rejection did come directly from a relative.
"I hid in the room to breastfeed my daughter. When my nephew tried to run, my brother stopped him dry and said: 'Don't look at that, it will burn your eyes'"It is hard to believe that such a comment can come from someone we love, but many times the way we were educated makes us think (and say) pretty dumb things. That's when we have to intervene, before that absurd way is perpetuated of thinking and move on to the next generation.
Between each testimony in the video we can see situations with which surely more than one mother will feel identified: being at a nephew's birthday party and ending up eating alone in a room because you are breastfeeding your child. Or go out for a family outing and have to lock yourself in the bathroom to breastfeed your baby and not "offend" anyone.
Within the video, Megan includes her aunt's comment, in which she told Megan's husband that if they planned to go to dinner, he could not breastfeed his son at his home near his family. His argument was that supports breastfeeding, but doing it in front of others is like pornography. Pornography! Can you believe it?
The video closes with a brief but firm message: "Nobody asked me to walk away and get lost in important things in my life when I fed my baby with formula. Mothers who breastfeed deserve the same respect"And that is something we should be clear about: when someone gets upset when they see you breastfeeding in public, show them that the offended is you.
When I breastfed my daughter, I always did it privately but because it was my decision. The truth is that I did not feel comfortable doing it in front of someone other than my husband, my mother or my sister. But after watching this video I think that same discomfort comes perhaps from the fact of never seeing anyone breastfeed in public. Maybe when I have more children, I am encouraged to do it in public, just as I see that many of my friends who have smaller children do it.
I think the most important lesson (and task) that this video leaves us is that if we really want to live in a world where breastfeeding in public is seen as something natural, We must start by educating the people we have closest to us: our family and friends.
Have you ever been humiliated by your family for breastfeeding in public or in front of them?
