The term aggressiveness It refers to a set of behavior patterns that can manifest with varying intensity, which involve provocation and attack. Aggression has its origin in many factors, both internal and external, both individual and family and social.
We are concerned that our children are aggressive, but many times we do not realize that we are too. There are certain aggressive attitudes more or less masked in our family relationships, some behaviors or situations that we should control and avoid, as they are contributing to our children being aggressive.
There are many attitudes of anger, demand, indictment ... on the part of the parents that must be considered in their context as aggressive situations:
Maintain a climate of discussions at home. Many times it is the modus vivendi of families: discussing becomes the only mode of relationship between its members. Discussions are not only harmful if they are with our children, but with the couple or other family members.
Establish competitive situations
- Find guilty instead of looking for solutions
- Insist that it is necessary to know "who is to blame"
- Sick or screech for something that is already done, instead of reasoning, of seeking explanations, of explaining the consequences.
- Use discipline as a punishment, when the ideal is for children to learn to respect discipline, not to hate it, which will happen if they are threatened with it.
- Use any type of threat or admonition to make them obey. With tactics of threat or aggression, children learn that it is necessary to behave well when we are close to not suffer damage, but they do not create the necessary internal discipline or assume the consequences of their actions to cope with self-sufficiency.
- Show them with our own behavior that when we get angry we get what we want (in stores, restaurants, windows ...)
- Refuse to make peace, if we have fallen into the error of getting angry with them. Ask for forgiveness It is a very healthy exercise for the emotional health of the family.
Although here we wanted to focus on the more or less covert attitudes that involve aggressiveness, we must not forget that the explicit aggressiveness of the physical attack, cheeks, whipping and other physical punishment must be banished completely in the family.
We have talked a lot about it: they are signs of aggressiveness as dangerous or more than the ones we have commented, ineffective and even counterproductive from an educational point of view, as well as being a crime in many countries, such as Spain.
All the above situations can lead to an aggressive environment and rare that it will only begin an escalation towards more intense demonstrations of aggressiveness if they are not controlled, and can lead to violence and degraded and problematic family relationships.
