When a woman has just had a baby, all the doubts she had during pregnancy come true and some new ones appear. Many of the doubts arise when breastfeeding, as it is one of the issues that depends not only on the baby, but also on the mother.
The doubt of whether he is doing it right or wrong, the doubt of whether he will be eating correctly, the doubt of whether he will be gaining weight, the doubt of whether there is something that could be improved. Faced with these doubts, many ask for advice and many listen without asking, because the last thing they want is to harm their babies. The problem is that, many times, women receive advice or phrases that can do more harm than good. Next, and in a series of three entries that we offer you today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, we will tell you the Ten phrases we should not say to a recent mother who breastfeeds her baby, based on a decalogue published in the book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding 8th edition.
1. Are you already sucking again?
It is a very common question of the grandmothers and mother-in-law, who fed us mostly with bottles and artificial milk. They gave it to us and we took it whole, or almost whole, because when we stopped they took out the bottle, they gave it a few turns to remix the water and the dust and in passing they counted how much was left and how much we had taken.
If there was still a lot left, it was clear to them that we weren't done, so they gave us the bottle again so we could take more, whether we were hungry or not. In this way we could endure between two and a half hours to four hours without asking again.
It is normal for them to find it odd for a child to breastfeed every hour and a half, or to take a shot and half an hour say that he wants a little more, or that he has sucked for a while and after a noise or stimulus that has made him nervous mame a while, etc. But of course, it is not the same. Mothers don't know how much the baby takes, so It is the baby who controls when to eat and when to drink. But in addition, breastfeeding is not only giving the milk that comes out of the breasts, it is also giving affection and a hug to the baby, and many times babies ask for breastfeeding to calm down.
That is why breast milk must be given on demand, because this is the baby who decides when to eat according to his hunger, when to drink according to his thirst and when to suckle for a little while to be calmer.
That is why we should not ask in amazement and rejection if the baby is breastfeeding again, which is also usually accompanied by a "must be hungry."
2. He is using you as a pacifier
This phrase is also very common, almost mythical. They see a baby who spends a lot of time in the breast, who falls asleep and, even asleep, does not let go, who often sucks, and then they disassociate the baby's calm to the breast, the smell of mom and the skin-to-skin contact of the baby. eat, as if breastfeeding was something you only intended to feed, and think that you are "sucking too much."
Normal, if the baby has already eaten, why do you keep sucking? They think. No one leaves a baby in the mouth when the milk has run out. The bottle is removed and, if you want to continue sucking, you are given the pacifier. Well, the tit would be the same, right? The tit is removed and then the pacifier is given.
Sounds logical, but it is not. The pacifier has existed for a very short time. The first patented appeared in the year 1900, so the movie is the other way around, we are the adults who have given the babies a pacifier to use as if it were a tit.
There are parents who give their children a pacifier and there are parents who do not. There are children who accept the pacifier and there are children who do not. And in the first month of life, it is interesting that breastfeeding is established perfectly, so the ideal seems to be to suck as much as you can and as much as you ask. That way the suction is not hindered by other things that suck differently and that way we make sure that do not lose opportunity to eat and that milk production will be correct.
3. Look, I give you a bottle and so you can move things forward
Again, for our mothers, giving bottles was the most normal thing in the world. Some have not got to give any to their babies, but most of us were bottle children. We arrived to drink breast milk for two or three months and then we started with the bottle, breastfeeding until breast milk was barely gone and we ended up with only a bottle.
As I said, a bottle helps a baby fill up, because you take control of the food and you assume it, filling it to the brim. That gives room for the baby to spend more hours without asking. In addition, a bottle can be given by anyone. It is no longer the mother who has to be with the baby in case she is hungry.
Many people, with little idea, probably without any bad intention but at the risk of the mother taking it as an attack, suggest that let them give a bottle so that the mother can rest or worse, so that she can go ahead of the house things.
It's a mistake. It is because when a mother breastfeeds, she knows that the baby depends on her, she knows that she is the one who provides the food and in a way she feels useful, very useful and very valid, safe and confident, when she sees that she is able to make your baby fat, grow, sleep and separate from the chest with a smile and face "how satisfied I am." It is (a mistake) because if a woman needs rest, it would be better to be helped with the things in the house, or directly done by someone else, instead of helping her with what concerns the care of the baby. And it is, because if the mother is breastfeeding and everything is going well there is no reason to give a bottle, which sometimes means hindering breastfeeding.
Tomorrow, the second part
Tomorrow we continue with three more sentences, in an entry that you can read here, in order to continue knowing the ten phrases that we should not say to recent mothers, who they are based on meaningless beliefs and myths that the only thing they can get is to undermine the confidence of the mothers and to make their breastfeeding suffer or end up failing.
