In recent years the number of premature births and also the survival rate and absence of sequelae of babies have increased, but for parents it is always an unexpected and hard event that causes diverse reactions. These are seven normal feelings if you are the mother or father of a premature baby.
A whirlwind of feelings and sensations will take over the parents at the beginning and some will probably give way to different ones as the days go by, when we become more aware of the situation. If you have been through this situation, you will know these feelings.
Fear of losing the baby, not to get ahead, in the aftermath. Ask doctors everything that worries you, since most of the time there will be no serious consequences of a premature birth. But it is better to know the details than to be uninformed, as uncertainty and fear increase.
There is also the fear of not knowing how to take care of it, to harm it. They are so tiny and fragile, that any movement worries us. Let yourself be advised by medical staff, very accustomed to dealing with these babies, which will tell you how to catch them, how to do the Mother Kangaroo method ...
Incomprehension of the environment: when you have the feeling that nobody understands what we are going through. Neither friends, nor family, find words of support or are not what we expect. Sometimes, we may think that even doctors or the couple do not understand us. This brings a feeling of loneliness.
Feeling guilty, derived from concern for the baby and uncertainty about its future. Many parents wonder why it happens to them, looking for "what they have done wrong", because they think they are to blame for the situation of the child. But, although there are circumstances that may favor them, most premature births have no known cause.
Denial of the situation, which usually follows the initial impact of the birth before term and that makes them want to flee from reality, to escape. It is likely, therefore, that there is an occasion when you do not want to see the baby.
Ambivalent and confronted feelings between the desire to join his son and the fear in case he is lost, which can lead to move away from him, as we have seen in the previous point.
Lack of bond, especially if you have not been able to have much contact with the baby due to its delicate situation. More and more parents are allowed to be close to their child for a longer time, but there are cases, in extreme premature cases, in which parents can barely be with the baby until it stabilizes.
Remember that with love, contact and the necessary care for the required time premature babies get ahead. We have to take time, be patient and stay calm in the rain of feelings that worry us, frighten us, take away our sleep. Soon you will have the baby at home and everything will be much easier than when you have to be separated more than you would like.
