There are two ways of giving birth, by vaginal delivery and by caesarean section. In some countries, and in Spain if you have money, you can choose caesarean section as the first option, but most births are, fortunately, vaginally. Most, but not all. Y It is very hard for many women when they have been imagining a normal birth for nine months and suddenly they see that their baby is not born, but that they take it out. Don't stop it, but "stop it."
And it is even harder when they want to talk about it and nobody gives it importance because "I also gave birth by caesarean section", because "many women stop like this and nothing happens" and because "the important thing is that your baby is well". Silence the woman, make her believe that she is not broken because she was not a mother as she wanted, but that is broken for feeling bad about something that shouldn't bother you... terrible
In Babies and more Mothers who go through an unplanned caesarean section would be more likely to suffer from postpartum depression: study And the silenced voices that feel lonely suddenly appear in a massive way when a woman decides to do a poem about it, a mantra, for each woman to tell herself, removing feelings to the point that thousands of mothers have already shared, thanking those words, that visibility of a scar that is not only physical, but also emotional, and that you can read below:
Mantra of caesarean section
I gave birth by caesarean section,
and by caesarean section I gave birth.And the sacred door was created,
for you and for me.
And I put my hands on my belly,and whisper to me:
Thanks scar dear,for how much I learned.
I gave birth by caesarean section,and by caesarean section I gave birth.
And I honor this portal of life,where I was reborn
As a mother, as a daughter,As an endless woman.
Thanks scar dear,for being part of me
Because you guarded well,The pain I suffered
A pain that today I transformin wisdom to me.
I gave birth by caesarean section,and by caesarean section I gave birth.
Thanks scar dear,You and I joined at last.
And my birth was worthy and good,and my birth taught me,
to bow to lifebeyond my heart
This caesarean mantra is the work of Monica Manso, who shared it on Facebook from his page Conscious Maternity and has already been shared more than six thousand times. And it does not surprise me, because it is one of many emotional wounds that few people understand and that ends up being silenced for the same reason.
"The important thing is that your baby is fine"
"And you, mom, give you." Yes, of course the important thing is that the baby is healthy, but that does not mean that there is an unexpected event which requires an adaptation, a psychological work by the mother. Do you know people who have a second chance in life because they receive another person's organ through a transplant? They have been waiting for this intervention for months, if not years, and in spite of that they have psychological support because they have to get by with an organ that was not originally theirs. But the most important thing is that they are alive! Of course, but that does not take away the other.
Well, the same thing happens in a C-section: a woman does not go to a hospital to discuss life and death, or the possibility that her baby may die. Of course it happens sometimes, but you don't go to that. A woman goes to the hospital for professionals to monitor her birth in case there is a problem, but with the hope and hope that they don't have to do anything special. It goes with the intention of give birth to your baby normally, to a healthy baby.
When something goes wrong, fears appear: "What's wrong? Is my baby okay? I'm scared ... I'm very scared. Tell me something. What's wrong with him? Is everything okay? Why is everyone running?" And it is totally logical and lawful to feel that fear because at that time the woman feels that she loses absolute control of her baby and the process. And that scares.
Then they make her a C-section ... the baby is born, everything is going well, and she is grateful that everything has finished well, but begins to spin everything she has lived: "What has happened? Why? Why could not I give birth to my baby? Why couldn't he be born as I expected? "
And of course it is the happiest day of her life ... she has just been a mother and has just seen her baby's eyes. What could be better? But as I say, that does not mean that I can suffer from what I have lived and that you need to explain it, seek support and have someone ask you "How are you?", and hug her.
And that after time is allowed to talk about it. And go to the gynecologist, as was Miriam, my wife, and explaining that she can not be completely happy with the birth because she ended up in caesarean section do not tell her "the important thing is that your baby is fine", but "I understand you ... is very hard to be a mother and have the feeling that you did not do what you should, but did the others ... that you were not able to give birth. "
And to recognize it is not to sink it, it is not even to say "you have been less woman, or less mother", because it is not so. She already knows it's not like that! It's just validate your feelings and let him know that it is not uncommon for him to have that thorn stuck, that it is normal for him to cry some nights remembering his birth and that there you are for when you need to speak it.
The gynecologist, the mother, the mother-in-law, the sister, the couple ... of course, when he thinks about the baby, he considers his scar to be good, all the possible pains and all the suffering suffered. But that does not make them disappear, and allowing her to talk about it will help her so that, when another woman lives something similar, she can say the same thing: yes, it hurts, it hurts a lot, but you eventually learn to accept your scar and realize that it was not your fault, And that is it doesn't make you less woman or less mother.
In Babies and more Caesarean birth plan: how to make it and what you should considerAnd this photo?
It probably sounds to you. We shared it a few months ago, when it went viral. It is a photograph of Helen Aller of a baby and her mother, who preferred to remain anonymous, which days later was censored on Facebook. Censored because not only the pain of having given birth by caesarean section is censored, but also the scar, the image of having given birth like this. Someone denounced the image and the photographer was blocked a few days.
So we are ... we think that by turning the face the problems disappear, and the sufferings too, and so it goes: we all suffer in silence, all broken to a greater or lesser extent, thinking that we are the only ones, when we talk more and listen more, sharing our concerns, we can help each other to pass page and move on, licking our wounds less and facing new challenges with more value and with less fear of making mistakes. Do not you think?
