I have already spoken to you several times about the adaptation of my children to school. My oldest son started well, it was getting worse and worse, and little by little the thing got calm again, especially in P4, to the point that they considered him to be a well-adapted child and also I was very calm in class.
It happened at first, two years later, that we realized that he got into so few problems, he behaved so well (as is usually said of the child who listens, applies with homework and does not bother anyone), that they started using it as a companion of those who were on the opposite side: those who attend less, move more and even bother teachers and classmates (which we usually abbreviate in a "misbehaves").
Who do you sit with?
All his classmates were already known from previous years, so the roles of each child in the classes began to be a little defined, and since we had been in school for three years, we knew everyone quite well. When we asked him who he sat with after the first few days, he replied that he had been seated with a girl who was known for being very scattered, restless, unruly, ...
Obviously we said nothing, because as parents we trust that they would be able to make her respectful of him and his classmates.
"They have changed our tables"
The first weeks passed and one day he explained that they had changed tables, and therefore of colleagues. Again, out of curiosity, we asked who he sat with now. He told us that this time he had been seated with the typical boy whose parents would not want their son to have to share space: one of those large in size, they know they are and take advantage of it.
One of your son's telling you that he does things at school: that he takes away his breakfast, that he has broken his pencil, that it bothers him when he tries to do something, that he throws sand in his eyes at the time of the yard , etc.
And we consider that look, that it was bad luck and that it was what it was. We told her that if it bothered her she would talk to the teacher, and that she would tell it to us too (in case we had to talk to her).
"I already have a new partner"
And a few weeks later, the operation was repeated again, with more changes in the school desk and a new surprise (or not) for us. He had been placed with another child with many problems at school, somewhat less "dangerous" than the previous one, but with little interest in anything that a school could offer him, at least as the teaching was set up at the time.
Three times in a row, the three children that any parent in the class would say are more conflictive, the three that any child in the class would mention when they say "there are children who bother." He was no longer suspicious, he was already evident.
We went to talk to the teacher to confirm that she was using our son of calm, especially since since the beginning of the course we were seeing him more withdrawn every day, more overwhelmed, with more anxiety to go to school, to the point that He began to lose his appetite (or so we thought).
And yes, neither short nor lazy, he told us that Jon behaved so well that he was great at sitting with the most troubled because it seemed that they were calmer.
We were supposed to be happy because he was telling us that Jon was a model child, "The One" to sit him with the uncontrollable. But no, we were not happy because every child that put him next to those characteristics I wanted to go to school a little more and the desire to learn. And we were no longer willing to allow him to continue using our shield son.
That she did it once, okay, even with a couple of children at different times of the course, if necessary, while she was working on the issue with those conflicting children. That nothing happens, that we all sometimes have to work with colleagues that we could call unbearable, or annoying. But we take it better if we are clear that it is temporary or if we can also work with others a little more pleasant, and that is why we expected, and asked, that think a little more about our son and give him the opportunity to go to school knowing that he would have some moderately calm boy or girl next door.
And yes, he did, he took it into account, and Jon was a little better for a few months until, due to additional circumstances, we decided (like other parents) to leave school.
I do not know if it is very common today, but you see that a few years ago with my son it was done ... and I remember suffering it also in my meats, sharing a table with those that teachers already considered impossible.
