As parents, we are responsible and responsible for the care and welfare of our children during their first decades of life. This includes their food, health, education and also, that the environment in which they develop is an emotionally healthy one for them.
Sometimes, when the atmosphere at home is very difficult and has been tried to improve it without success, many couples choose to divorce. But instead of seeing it only as something negative, Sometimes the divorce of the parents is the best thing that can happen to the children.
My experience as a daughter of divorced parents
Before sharing a little of what I have lived, I would like to clarify that I do not consider divorce to be the first or only solution to a relationship where there are problems or difficulties. I am the daughter of divorced parents, but I strongly believe that a marriage can last a lifetime when working as a team and things are done with love, respect and good communication.
I grew up in a home where watching my parents argue was something everyday. From an early age I remember seeing faces of dissatisfaction and anger among them, and although they did their best not to do it in front of us, their daughters, it was very obvious that they were not happy.
In Babies and more How does divorce affect children according to their age (and how parents can manage it) For years and years we saw them fight and we spent many awkward or painful moments when that happened. Although there was never physical violence, the emotional wounds that cause your parents to see each other angry leave a mark for a lifetime.
One day, when I was a teenager, they finally decided to divorce and although it was a very painful time for my sister and me, I understood that it was the best for everyone. Our history as a family did not have the happy ending that was expected, but at least those years of problems and discussions seemed to remain in the past.
In Babies and more We divorce: how and when do we tell children according to their ageNaturally, the first years were difficult and my parents still had disagreements and did some things that were not the best for us during their divorce process, but over the years, We have finally reached a point where we can all be together without discussion, just hanging out together.
What did I learn as a daughter from all that? As much as it hurts and breaks with that illusion that we had at the beginning, Sometimes a divorce is necessary and is the best we can do for our children. And this was what happened to me when I became a mother.
My divorce: the best for me and my daughter
As I said at the beginning, despite what I lived at home, I believe in love for a lifetime. I think it is possible to have a lasting and respectful relationship in which they are a team, and having that mindset in mind I got married and started my own family. But things don't always turn out the way you plan them.
A part of me refused to give up, I didn't want to repeat my parents' story and I wanted my daughter to have a family together. Although we tried, we went to therapy and gave each other opportunities over and over again, things did not improve.
But more than making the decision to separate only for me, I also did it for my daughter. I grew up in a house where bad faces and screams were common, and I didn't want her to grow up thinking that was normal. An environment in which there are discussions, shouts, sarcastic comments and manipulations is not a healthy environment for a child (or anyone).
In Babies and more My experience as a divorced mom and the challenges I had to face after separationOur mission as parents should be to raise happy and healthy children, both physically and emotionally. But for them to be, we must be too. With this I do not want to promote or promote divorce, because I think that this will always be the last option when we have exhausted all the resources.
But we do have to learn to recognize when the environment and family dynamics in which we live do us more harm than good. That's when divorce is the best we can do for our children and for us.. It will always be better for a child to see his parents separated but calm and happy, than together but with resentment or abuse.
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