Once we get home with the baby, many families need recollection and tranquility, to rest, to recover physically if the delivery has been difficult, to start breastfeeding and also, if they are going to use artificial milk, to adapt to the baby's needs , and above all to relocate new emotions and family relationships. But then the visits begin. Y Postpartum visits can be helpful, although sometimes they are a huge nuisance.
Visits arrive
It seems that everyone wants to meet the baby, and it is normal, but not if that interferes with the needs of the family, because, deep down, what counts now are mother, son, father and other family members who live with them. But grandmothers, cousins, uncles and even neighbors or friends can become a nuisance.
The hours of sleep are scarce, the mother may have to recover from pain and even a serious abdominal operation if we talk about a C-section. We are all with nerves and emotions unleashed and absolutely exhausted. The visits, deep down, they don't need anything if we don't really feel like it.
Also, let's be honest, the baby, who really is now the center of the world, doesn't need to know anyone but his mother. Dad and the brothers can also offer you very pleasant sensations, since he knows them already from intrauterine life. And although newborns do not usually bother with strangers, they will not remember them nor do they need any. It is difficult to say no to a visit and, in these cases, the role of the father is fundamental.
Bad visits
Yes on top the visits They are those that seem to never leave, those that take your baby from your arms or throw messages that undermine your safety. If they come just when you want to lie down, they can be a nuisance and even a real ordeal.
I hated them. I disconnected the phone and sat down receiving and drinking coffee when what I needed was to get into bed or shower or start crying quietly. It was very unpleasant, to the point of unleashing in my interior a strong rejection by some of those visits, even towards family members.
I did not understand well then all this flow of emotions, my need to be in a nest in gloom, skin to skin with my son, without times. I didn't understand where that rage came from when someone else took him in my arms almost kidnapping him. Today I know this is completely natural.
Good visits
But then Are postpartum visits always bad? The answer is no. If the mother wishes, go ahead, but sometimes you have to allow her to rest and disconnect from the world so that she can let the instinctive part flow. But, as I say, the final decision should be of the puerpera and no one, not even his partner and even the rest of those close to him, should believe himself as important as to be angry or upset if she manifests the need for loneliness.
In addition, postpartum visits can be very useful. If you have a friend or relative who gives birth, do not think that you cannot lend a hand.
The best postpartum visits do not come with suits or toys, or with the desire to take out auntie Paca's like, or to give unsolicited advice on parenting or breastfeeding. They come with a pot of food and wanting to iron clothes.
So if you want to be useful and show all your love to a mother of a mother, here you have a list of things you can do.
Those who make postpartum visits really useful
If you have older children, offer to take them to school, take a walk with them, take them to the park or even, if the children feel like it, take a trip to the zoo or the amusement park. If you do not have a cook, you can offer to bring the food prepared every day, so you do not have to take care of anything. Make the food, set the table, collect and clean the pots. That is a great gift. If she doesn't have help at home, agree with her the time she wants you to enter, without even saying hello, and pass the broom and mop. If you do not have a laundry service, the same, agree the time at which you can go to put the washing machines and then collect, iron and fold all the clothes. If you take your dirty clothes and return it folded, if you walk around your house more than the essential time, then the gift will be superb. If it can be good for you, organize the best time to go home and spend a little while caring for the baby while the mother takes a shower, washes and fixes her hair and cuts her toenails. If you have a visit with the doctor, take it if it goes well. Arrive with diapers, wipes and basic supplies. Or better, go shopping with what she asks you, adding some delicious details that you know she likes. There are many things you can do. postpartum visits that are really helpful. I don't know if they will be as entertaining as spending the afternoon talk, but the puerperal women will be very good and will remember you with true love and thanks. After all, you love that mom and her baby very much, and doing the best for them is the way to prove it.
