It's not that I'm a big fan of Ana Rosa Quintana's program, nor that I follow the lives of the people who go out there (much less), but I want to echo this video because after talking five months ago I never know I should tell a woman who has suffered an abortion and after talking with Transi Álvarez, who explained to us in an interview everything she has experienced after having three abortions, this lady has released, in four minutes, which is what the video lasts, everything that should not be said to a woman who has suffered an abortion.
The spontaneous abortion was suffered a few days ago by Jessica Bueno, a couple of Kiko Rivera (better known as Paquirrín). While this girl is admitted, without knowing the outcome and the diagnosis of threatened abortion, the presenter spoke via telephone with Anabel Pantoja, cousin (if I'm not mistaken), of Kiko Rivera.
At the moment when she tells the presenter that it is a threat of abortion and that they are all very worried, the presenter begins her empathy display (I say it ironically, of course) by making a shoulder gesture (the typical one of "good ...") and with a colossal phrase:
Well, it's very short, it's very young, these things happen.
It is not that I am a defender of the Pantoja family or have anything to do with that girl's pregnancy or her abortion, but Ana Rosa's program is one of the most watched on television and this lady has the ability to offer opinion to society. That he was a short time know his relatives and especially Jessica Bueno, who is very young is obvious, and that these things happen, well. They are obvious that are left over precisely because of that, obvious and that are left over because they show that you are not wanting to know what that family feels with the loss or what they were feeling, in the form of hope and hope, when they thought that baby would be born someday.
We continue, anyway, because this is only an advance. Follow the sentence saying the following:
All women, those of us who have children and those who don't, have at some time experienced this situation.
I understand that the intentions of Ana Rosa Quintana are to remove iron from the matter, to say "calm, that nothing happens", but as we have said on other occasions, say "quiet", does not usually reassure, and minimize feelings from the others it makes them feel misunderstood ("nobody understands my pain"), which, if extended to the majority, in addition to misunderstood they feel different: "I will be weird, for feeling bad ... I will be weird for feeling pain for the loss of the baby I will never have. "
That's why I'm here talking about Ana Rosa and her phrases, because nobody, absolutely nobody, should try to minimize other people's pain, nobody should say "calm, nothing happens", but she says it even before the abortion has occurred. And the thing is not there, because the video continues ...
There comes a time when Anabel Pantoja, talking on the phone, begins to cry, expressing the illusion that everyone had in that baby (lawful and logical, it would be more), when Ana Rosa intervenes to redirect the moment and, instead of putting next to the girl, instead of showing her support and understanding her pain, she returns to the steps:
But let's see, Anabel, that you are very young, that this is an incipient pregnancy, that in the first three months the risk of abortion is very high, it is a very young couple, and I also tell you one thing ... assuming the outcome Don't be the one you want ... they always say "a woman, a pregnant woman."
This is a fourteen-year-old girl who tells her mother that she is broken ... she likes a boy in the class and he has given her pumpkins. What I say pumpkins, has said in a few words that "where are you going with me ...". The mother, trying to calm her, says: "Quiet ... if you are very young, in fact I think it is soon for you to have boyfriends. You have a lifetime ahead. You see, dead king, king put." The girl, with tears still on her cheeks, looks at her with surprise: "Thanks mom for understanding me", while making a gesture of "if I know I do not tell you." He turns and runs away to his room, alone ... alone, in every way.
By the way, you can sit down to continue reading. I know you were all standing up, applauding the phrase "merciful woman, pregnant woman", which I personally had not heard in my life, but which will go down in history (in my history) for being in very bad taste.
The video continues and the presenter is still in her position… she is about to continue with her string of things that should not be said to a woman who has suffered an abortion when the video is cut (thanks).
Anyway, as I said in his day and I keep saying, there is still a long way to go in the field of emotions and feelings, where it seems that we are still in diapers.
A young woman has the same right to suffer a loss as a woman who will be less likely to become pregnant because she is older, because the pain does not come from "I have many years left" or "I have few years left" to become a mother. The pain comes from baby he had in his belly and will never be born.
Being pregnant for a short time is not an argument that can be used to tell someone that they do not have to suffer, because the pain does not come from how big or small the baby was (although logically, more time more pain), but from knowing that the baby that was brewing and the illusions and hopes created will never move on, not with that baby.
And finally, that happens to many women, because it is not something that serves to relieve suffering. By this rule of three it is absurd that people mourn the losses of their relatives (parents, siblings, children, husbands, ...). This happens daily, right?
Anyway, Ana Rosa, that I am Anabel Pantoja and for the next one I don't call you, to understand me, what is said to understand me, because I see that not much.
