Many young families find that the family continually questions how they educate or care for their children: that if you do not take it, that if you give it a lot of tit, that if you are so selfish that you do not breastfeed, that if you do not feed it correctly, that if you put it in a car and cry ... for them and especially now that in summer the coexistence is closer on vacation, I tell you three strategies to treat the family if you criticize the way you raise.
There is no way of parenting that is going to be especially conflictive if your family respects that you are adults and that you make your own decisions, but youth, being first-time or depending in some way on them can make you want to get more than you It belongs to them, even if they do it for love. But sometimes if we don't stop the criticisms can be very harmful.
But if you have chosen a way of raising something "alternative" or different, you may not understand anything at the beginning. And it is something new, strange and may even be dangerous that fashion of not letting children cry or not educating them with punishments or blackmail.
The society, most of the experts who are given authority to have a degree (psychologist, teacher, teacher ...), their own life, everything indicates that the majority and normal is not to "spoil" children and much less give them the tit on demand or much more than a year, sleep with them or carry them in their arms.
First strategy: good information and empathy
The first strategy is the most effective in some cases. We listen to their opinions, which they surely give us with the best intention in the world even if they use, sometimes, slightly prepotent tones, and we offer them ours by relying on all possible scientific and proven information.
We have to think well of them and trust that their motives are generally a real concern for us and their grandchildren, who, although mistakenly, want to take care of and protect us from our inexperience.
Let us take advantage of their love and the experience of their opinions to learn from them, but without compromising on what we consider appropriate, not even an iota. Our security will convey a positive message, that we do what we do because we are convinced that it is the right thing and we do it with well-founded reasons.
We will be open to share our knowledge and experiences with them, even to propose readings and documents with which they can learn. Do not be surprised if they do not give up, but also feel happy if they listen and are willing to learn.
Many relatives, even if they don't do it at the beginning, they end up understanding that we have no absurd reasons to choose a certain form of parenting and that we do it with security and the support of professionals and official organizations that endorse it thanks to current research and also, and that is important, leaving us to advise by our own heart.
Imagine when in a few years that grandfather or grandmother who thought you were a crazy or crazy person who was leading his grandchildren to marginality or crime ends up saying how proud he feels of how you have acted and how well you have educated them. I swear it can happen.
Imagine when in a few years that grandfather or grandmother with a more squared head than a chess board affirms that there is nothing better than freedom and affection for children and that he loves to give you the tit five years or educate him in An alternative formula because your grandson is a teenager to be very proud of. I swear it can happen.
There are families who report that, after a while, those who criticized them at the beginning, will end up understanding and even supporting their decisions regarding child sleep, food or less conventional education.
When our children grow up and do it in a healthy way and with an evident emotional balance, they yield to reality, although, of course, there will always be those who attribute it to luck, to the genes of their part of the family or they will take advantage of any uncomfortable situation or problem to put in face that the things were done "badly".
Whatever the way in which our message is received, the first strategy would be understanding, empathy, respect, love and much, much, confidence in ourselves and in our reasons.
I'll tell you the others tomorrow following strategies that you can use if the family criticizes your way of raising too much.
