If on a small scale we already know how conversations about motherhood and parenting can make a tiny snowball lead to an avalanche, what happens when these statements are made by a popular character and the media intervene is a real "mothers war".
A term that I don't like at all but that tries to define these confrontations between different ways of conceiving motherhood, sometimes in the antipodes but, let's face it, sometimes not so far apart. This time it was the actress Gwyneth Paltrow who has, unwittingly, found herself in the eye of the hurricane.
It seems that statements taken out of context (or misunderstandings, or poorly expressed ...) are the origin of this avalanche against the actress, mainly by other women.
In an interview He seemed to suggest that the work of an actress is harder than that of an office worker and that is why in recent years he has had to be an "office worker" (referring to keeping a nine to five schedule) in order to better serve his young children.
This has caused her to have been lynched in social networks and in certain media, because it seemed that she belittled those mothers who also, with office hours, wish they could see their children more and take better care of them. And maybe those who would like to have the same income as the actress (someone not?).
On the occasion of Mother's Day in the United States, the actress took the opportunity to congratulate all moms with an article (or rather communicated by its short length) entitled "Ending mommy wars" ('Ending mommy wars') and which really tries to close this absurd controversy.
He explains that it was a few weeks ago when he was asked in an interview why he had only worked on one movie a year since he had children. His response was that work in the cinema takes him away from home and needs 12-14 hours a day, so it is difficult to take care of the children to eat, take them to school or put them to bed.
And then I preferred to have a job, say, "normal", office worker, with a fixed schedule and close to home. For what? To take care of your children. Isn't that what matters and what we all want after all? Being able to spend more time with them and take better care of them.
Why do we think they tell us that we do it wrong?
With a little empathy I think the actress's words could be perfectly understood without needing to think that it belittles the work of other women or their work as mothers. I think giving up more movies and more money for being with your young children is commendable and hopefully more men and not only women.
She is surprised at how little it costs for women to feel attacked and lynch each other (when you have been in these forums for a while, you already assume it as normal), although she understands that many women have mixed feelings on the subject of their jobs and Take care of the children. Unresolved reconciliation issues that concern us all.
When we talk about our work as mothers, other women see disapproval in their own maternal work.
Comments on whether you breastfeed more or less (Do you want to tell me that I have not done well?), Breastfeed or bottle, if we have decided to return to work or stay at home to take care of the children ... we always think that they are indirectly telling us that we have done it wrong or we could have done better.
She also experienced this a few years ago in a similar situation, when she was attacked for her considerations about work and family conciliation in an article on her blog.
The fact is that whatever you do, whatever you say on parenting issues, there will always be someone who does not think like you and who thinks you "attack" and therefore go on the defensive. We feel entitled to comment on what other women have decided is best for their family.
We are tempted to advise, preach, renege ... But are we always the ones who are right? Thinking like that, of course, we will face every step with the others. We are not talking about universal truths, there is no universal truth for "how to be the best mother".
Anyway, Gwyneth Paltrow has unwittingly found himself at the center of the mothers' war and it is that although you want to be very clear in your affirmations, they will still be misunderstandings ... Anyway, soon there will be more celebrities who are the target of the criticisms of half the world. What we like to criticize ... but don't criticize us!
