As we have said on other occasions, one of the hardest things of motherhood and fatherhood are the happy bad nights. Babies don't know about clocks, schedules, nights or days, sunsets and sunrises and they sleep and eat when they feel like it, and also they don't tell you "sorry mom, would you be so kind of, if you're doing well, give me a little chest? When you see that it is possible, huh? What do I expect", but they start crying almost screaming of a way that can only be translated in one way "Feed me! My mother doesn't feed me! Is anyone there with a tit to feed me? YaaaaAAAA! "
So the insistence, the frequency of the occasions in which it happens and that happens one day yes and another also ends up affecting, with time, the life, the image and the behavior of a woman, until the day in which all this so deep that transforms into a "Mombie". Do you want to know if you are already one of them?
What is a "Mombie"?
Several definitions run on the Internet, so I leave you with one of them, a mixture of several that I have seen:
Mombie (adj.): Said of a person who: is a sleep deprived super mother who feeds on chocolate and caffeine and survives with sticky kisses and jagged smiles. She is an expert in multitasking and her scruffy appearance is a clear sign that her image is not reflected in the mirrors time has.
From this definition it follows that a "Mombie" It meets the following characteristics (not necessarily all, but several). If you feel identified with them it seems clear that you have become one of them:
- Raccoon eyes: from a distance it may seem that they have passed with the eyeshadow and that not only the upper eyelid but also the lower eyelid have been painted. As you approach you realize that no, it is not makeup.
- They abuse caffeine and chocolate: They drink a lot of coffee, but a lot. You can even see them with a thermos on the street, which they drink every so often. His breath smells like coffee maker. His smile turns brown ... do not talk about diets because they could become aggressive. The reason for that dental color is excess chocolate.
- They have a bipolar speech: Under the effects of caffeine they can talk too much, with disjointed phrases and an exaggerated tendency to focus on diapers, cries and what they have forgotten to do. When blood caffeine levels drop their communication is limited to short grunts or monosyllables.
- They walk without a clear objective: Or, at least, it seems. They go to a specific site and when they arrive they return to the place of origin. They stop for a moment and repeat the pattern. Seconds later they say out loud "what was I doing?"
- They drive with the radio at full volume: if they go alone, to keep their eyes open all the way. If they carry the baby they put on the song they know best over and over again to sing it from beginning to end.
- They are able to teleport: or that is what they believe. They sit behind the wheel in the car and a second later they are at the destination without knowing how they got there.
- Mirrors no longer reflect your image: and if they reflect it, they are not able to focus on the details. They can go outside with the house slippers, with socks of different colors or with clothes that do not seem to combine. The hairstyle is limited to a permanent ponytail. With the passage of time they choose to wear short hair so they don't have to comb their hair.
- They are able to make objects disappear and appear: or that is what they believe, because they can have something in their hand and 5 seconds later they can't find it anywhere and they can look for something everywhere and 5 hours later realize that they have it in their hand.
- They seem hypnotized (glassy eyes): if you look them straight in the eye it seems as if they are looking at the horizon. As if they weren't there.
- They raise their psychomotor abilities to a higher level: probably because of having their eyes lost, they manage to increase the ability to do things with their hands and become ambidextrous. They can eat with the left hand while holding the baby they breastfeed with the right. They type with one hand. They take things from the ground with the toes. They can iron while they turn the boiling food around and hold the phone between the ear and the shoulder with amazing ease.
- They have night vision: at the beginning they walk through the corridors feeling the ground with their hands and they can even hit a blow on the head with a door or shatter the little finger of the foot with a piece of furniture. Over time they acquire night vision and walk around the house in agony but bypassing any obstacle without problem.
- They need two calls to answer: If you call them on the phone you should know that it is unlikely that they will catch you at first. When they hear a call they do not answer it, because for more times it sounds they do not consider it important. Only in case, after a few seconds, the phone rings again, do they start moving towards it.
- They are not able to watch more than 3 minutes of television: Do not talk about film premieres or the series you are watching, because they will not know what you are talking about. If one day you can convince them to see something with them, you will realize, after 3 minutes, they have fallen asleep. You can try it with some short film.
- They may have bipolar behaviors: They may be explaining something precious that their children have done and seconds later cry until you get to fear that they can become dehydrated. It is not advised to suppress these mood swings, since crying is one of the ways of eliminating excess liquid due to excess coffee.
- They dream of sleeping a whole night: They do not usually say it, but they dream of a night in their bed, or in a hotel bed, in which after a shower and a quiet dinner they can sleep all night on their feet. They try, however, not to think about it, because it causes tachycardia and anxiety.
- They worship their children in a way that only those who have children can understand, probably as a way of transmitting the "infection": friends without children will rethink seriously the possibility of being mothers when they see them act, but the messages they send about how good their babies smell, the smiles they dedicate, how precious, how soft and achuchables they are, cloud the reasoning and after incubating a few days, weeks or months "the growing transmitted infection", they arrive home and tell their partners "how I would like to have a baby".
Well, this is more or less what characterizes a "Mombie." Not all of them meet all the characteristics, nor are they all met at once, because they can go from one phase to another and then return to the previous one, in a strange process in which it seems that they never evolve for good.
With the passing of the months the situation is normalized and, apparently, "the infection" is self-limited (it resolves itself without the need for treatment). Now, the cause of the symptoms seems to be dormant in some way in the woman's body, because if she has another baby the symptoms are reactivated in an even more serious way than with the previous baby.
Recommendation for people around
The recommendation for other people, for those who are not "Mombies" but know one is the following:
- Approach cautiously to avoid shocks: They are not usually dangerous, but they walk short of reflections.
- Offer them coffee: It is the most useful approximation measure. Normally they will not reject it.
- Don't tell them what you have to do to heal: they don't like advice… there have been documented cases of attempted ear plucking with teeth.
- Under no circumstances wake them up: If they have fallen asleep with the baby and he starts to slip, do not tell him, they would wake them up. Also do not try to catch the baby, as they will wake up instantly with bloodshot eyes and try to defend their baby. Stay close to the baby, with your arms as a "picker", in case it finally slips dangerously, catch it on the fly.
- Do the house stuff: if you are the father, do your best at home, have been working all day or not. The less she does better, the longer it takes to develop "the infection." If you are not the father, call him as soon as possible and tell him to take care of the situation.
I believe he did not leave anything. If so, please tell me, I add it. Whatever with as of help avoid a plague of "Mombies".
By the way, the image you see above belongs to a video of mothers who wanted to represent what a "Mombie" mother is. I don't know if they just convinced me, but it can help a little to understand the conversion process:
Video | Youtube
In Babies and more | How hard it is to be a father when the environment does not support you (I) and (II), Being a father: nobody said that having a child was easy, why is it so hard to have children?
