Christmas parties have just passed and that means that now there are a few months of tranquility and tranquility, Away from the looks and judgment of your brothers-in-law. A few months (or maybe weeks), because with a lot of luck you will not share a table until next Christmas and with little luck you will see yourself on a birthday soon, or worse, any weekend eating at your parents 'or parents' house Your wife's parents.
What am i talking about? Yes man, you know, from the 14 moments when you smile or bite your tongue when your brothers-in-law speak to you when in there, in your head, the blood boils and in your imagination you are strangling them until you see them agonize.
1. "And don't you give them a bottle, how well it goes?"
It happens at the beginning, when you are first-timers and they want to show you that in addition to first-timers you are a few pardillos and, in passing, justify the option they chose by teaching you: because they know what they do, and they do their best. "Yes, that breastfeeding is the most natural, but hey, in the end it is a roll because only the woman can give it and with the bottle they are raised the same and she can rest. Besides, that of giving you the bottle is one pass, don't you think? "
And you think so, it sure is a pass, but since the child is well taken to the breast, is getting fat and the mother, although tired, is happy and does not want to change, then continue breastfeeding. And although you tell them that it is going well and such, they insist on "how comfortable the other is, that you know how much it takes and you control it, instead of having to be giving a tit every two times and anywhere without knowing if has eaten a lot or a little. "
2. "Don't you think you take it a lot in our arms? We just take it from us and it is much more independent"
"Because your back is going to be destroyed and your arms are going to be dusty, apart from the wrists, that you don't see how they hurt ... ours at first wanted a lot of arms, but we have already been teaching him that not to speak, that he has to learn to be alone because he will not have everything in life. Look at him, there he is alone in the stroller and so quiet. "
And of course, you answer that you do not see yourself capable of letting him cry, that you prefer to attend to him, that you have read that it is better that you do not cry… "That where you have read it, on the internet? Because there you cannot trust anyone, write every lunatic ... " "No, in a parenting book." "Pff, well go foolishness. The children, of a lifetime, have had to learn that it is they who are going to have to take the chestnuts out of the fire and that they cannot always depend on their parents for everything, and as soon as they know best".
So they tell you that way, with such conviction, yes, you would strangle them so as not to continue arguing. Never more.
3. "Do you really sleep with you? Hahaha, how bad: he cried a couple of days and now he is super happy sleeping alone"
"What I was missing ... having to sleep with the baby in the bed. There kicking me and putting my hand on it. If that also can not be good! Look, I really believe that you are a little soft in this The children have to sleep in their room, in their crib, of course they have a hard time a few days, but then they miss it and they appreciate it, it makes no sense to always have them in bed because they look at the baker's son, who He explained to us the other day that he is afraid of the dark and at 13 years old he will sleep with her for many nights. Thirteen years old! "
That you have not asked him how they do it. Which is also that you are not interested. That they have asked you how he sleeps, and in order not to lie you have told the truth, that he wakes up a lot and that it is less bad that you have him in bed, because if he would not sleep worse. But no, it turns out that they know better than you that your son would sleep much better alone.
4. "What have you given the optional vaccines? What nonsense, if they are optional it is because they are not important"
"In fact, I hate punctures ... I don't like vaccines, analytics or anything at all. I have a worse time than my baby, so if I could I didn't give him one. But as now they call you a bad mother for everything, because we have put the ones that they play in. But hey, those optional ones, that I have read around that if they do not put them in the pediatrician, it is because they will not be so important. Besides, you see ... it does not take them and it does not nothing has happened. "
And it makes you want to say "there where, on the internet?", But no, you bite your tongue again while trying to make a grin similar to a smile and you think if you say "well, we have thought that it is it is better not to get pneumonia or meningitis and that if they are not on the calendar it is because there is no money in the state for that "but in the end you shut up and say nothing to not continue with the issue.
5. "But stop breastfeeding now, woman. Look at ours, you are very beautiful with the bottle and also sleep like a blessed"
Because of course, yours is still waking up at night and his is a museum. A museum baby who, they say, does everything well.
6. "Until six months without giving him anything else to eat? Pfff, often a pediatrician ... he eats anything you throw"
Because they don't feed him, they kick him out. And besides, what else does the WHO, the AEP, UNICEF, your pediatrician, your nurse and whoever say. That up to six months breast milk is a barbarity for them: "my mother with 3 months gave me everything, and look how good I am." "Aha" (now I understand why you are so cocoon). "So you see, since four months we give him cereals, pots, fruit and my mother has given him vegetables, meat, fish, lentils more than once, right, honey? And without anyone telling us. Even custard I gave him the other day ... don't see how he eats them !! "
(Ya, ya ... I just give mine a tit because what we want is to die of starvation ...).
7. "And you still don't say 'mom' or 'dad'? I would take him to the pediatrician, because we have already heard ours say many things"
Not only is he a museum baby, he is also the smartest of the babies in the park. You have not heard him say anything, but according to them, he speaks by the elbows. And it may be true, but fuck, that does not mean that mine is a lelo just because mom and dad has not yet said when he is still a baby. Really, it seems that the medals are being distributed and they are screaming for one for their son.
8. "And you do not punish him with the tantrum that just mounted you? Well, you are ready. I do not let this one pass"
Because of course, when there are people, children who are allowed to show their feelings can do so, ride a tantrum because they are nervous, or because you are not paying attention to them, or because at that moment they want something, and there the looks of the others are nailed to your neck waiting for your reaction, to see how you punish him.
And you don't do anything you don't do on other occasions (or you try, because the pressure is important). You attend him, you go with him to see what he wants, you explain things to him, you try to channel the situation in an adult way, because although he is a child, you are an adult, and when you finally have everything solved and the child calm, It turns out that, either you have been very soft or it has taken you too long to solve it: "Buff, I was going to have patience for that. You punish him and go ... go that it is not going well to sit in a corner. Or you put the broncazo and you'll see how he doesn't repeat it ... and if not, you hit him in the diaper. "
9. "Well, they hit me and you see, here I am"
That would be what follows the previous point, when you tell them that you have no intention of punishing or hitting him, because you don't think it is a good educational system. "Well, keep it up, with the dialogue, you'll see where you end up. Look, I don't let mine go by and there you have it, it obeys me a lot." "Now, but I don't want a child who obeys everything I say ... I want him to be a child with his own criteria." "What? Hahaha. What you have read, in the book that parenting? Well, you see that it is not going very well: look how it has become silly."
(Right now I am seeing myself tightening your neck with all my strength as I bang your head against the ground again and again, but no, it seems that it is all fruit of my imagination because I still see you drinking from your glass with an air of sufficiency).
10. "But why do you still breastfeed him if he is already one year old? If they say that it is no longer good for them!"
And you explain what it does, that it still feeds, that it still provides defenses, that say it is very positive at the level of bonding with the child ... "Link? Bah, what nonsense. Look at me with my son: more impossible link! " (I see, now, that you don't pay attention to him all day and just go to him to tell him what he has to do or what he has to stop doing). "What you're going to get with that is that he becomes pampered and spoiled, and that he doesn't know how to calm down alone ... because you give it to him when he cries and then you don't let him let off steam, and that's bad, because he stays with the stress inside ".
(I do have stress inside ... I do need to let off steam ...).
11. "I don't understand why you don't take him to daycare. Are you going badly with money or something? Because ours is getting scared that you don't see"
"And we leave it all day. Look that at noon I could take it because I am at home and I don't do anything else, but I take the opportunity to eat quietly, I take a nap and everything and then I will look for him. Yes he cries a little for the morning, but he is happy ... "(Ideally, he would come in happy and leave happy, or even sad to leave, but nothing, you're still ...). "And he is not learning things. The other day a boy took a toy in the park and took it from him and hit him ... go they don't learn to defend themselves."
(Yes, it is great that you know how to value that your child fixes things by hitting).
12. "We have thought about taking him to the psychologist, because he is very moved and we do not know if he can have hyperactivity or that he is gifted. Does yours, how are you talking?"
(Yes, of course he talks, if you look at him for four seconds you would see that there are times when he talks to me and other people, and if you ask him something, maybe he would even answer you, but nothing, you tell me about your son, which interests me An atrocity).
"At home he does not stop, everything touches him and lately a little rebellious, we have read that many gifted children have problems to relate and we are thinking of taking him to the psychologist, because he could be hyperactive or gifted ... you know that from a very young age he talks a lot , and knows the colors, the animals ... Look son, how does the cow ?! Very good! And how does the duck? Bravo! And how old are you? "
(God, this is over now ...).
13. When you see that your son plays with his and his son hits yours and does not stop taking things away and ridicule him ...
At that time they are not telling you anything. But you see that his son is treating yours badly. You see that the perfect child, the museum, the gifted, the well-educated, is abusing yours, the spoiled and spoiled that has taken a tit until it becomes a human spoil that is not even capable of speaking. And you don't know what to do beyond taking yours and taking it away from that child you take a look at "next time ...". That moment when you don't know whether to go to your parents and tell them what your child is doing, at the risk of being told that "it is impossible" or "your child will have started" or shut up and strangle them once more in your imagination, As if that would help.
14. "It is that you have had a lot of luck with yours, that behaves great. We, you see, is a mess"
And so until one good day they realize that he does not seem to be gifted, he does not seem to be hyperactive, but the child behaves like a thousand demons. You only see a poorly educated child (who is not rude), who has had orders left over and lacked hugs, who he has had too much demand and he has lacked love. A child who does not stop calling attention because he feels that he is not happy, that something is wrong in his life, that everything could be different, but that he is not able to reflect to reach the conclusion that everything could have been different if his parents would not have treated him as if it were an experiment and would have treated him like a child.
And you there, muttering, "I told you, you bastards, that you have been giving us the ass for years with the child, that we were doing it wrong, that you were doing great and now you can't stand what you have created ... and on top of that you think it's because He was born like this, and it turns out that we have been lucky and you have been touched by the child with character, and you are convinced that if you had not educated him like that it would be even worse ... that if I catch you now I will lay you on the ground and ... ". "Are you saying something? It seems like you mutter…" "No, no ... I say yes, thankfully we have been fortunate that we have been touched by a loving and understanding child. Let's see what the psychologist tells you ... hopefully everything goes well." "I hope so, uncle, because I am there are days I can't go with him anymore."
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In Babies and more | How hard it is to be a father when the environment does not support you (I) and (II), do I take my child out of the nursery? When the expiration date reaches the expiration date
