For a long time, and even now, he has fought for normalize breastfeeding and ensure that mothers who breastfeed their babies can do it where necessary, without being told that they should go to another place, without being looked badly and without actually giving their opinion on something that does not concern the rest.
Meanwhile, while breastfeeding has been established as the normal food for babies (remember that decades ago it was not, because it was considered better, or at least the same, artificial milk), women who give bottles have also felt looks and receiving comments, reproaches and opinions that have not asked.
Well, here you go the three reasons why mothers who bottle feed deserve the same respect as those who breastfeed.
Wait a minute, who tells you anything?
I don't know who, but they are told. It is true that sometimes they feel offended or upset for no reason, and here we have lived it when we have published an article that explained the effects of breast milk on the baby to compare them with artificial milk and for that simple fact they have been put to the defensive (I have been told that I should not explain the differences between one milk and another because mothers who do not breastfeed can feel bad), but that does not mean that no one offends them without need.
In Babies and more You can give love with a tit and a bottle: this beautiful photo of a mother who breastfeeds and gives the bottle at the same time to her babiesSometimes she is a stranger, sometimes she is a friend, sometimes a relative, sometimes ... and according to the touch they have they can hurt, or at least disturb. The other day he talked about the brothers-in-law who say that "do you still breastfeed him?", Well, there are brothers-in-law who also say "and how come you didn't breastfeed, if it's the best ...?", And then they also release a "well, I don't know, because in reality all women can breastfeed."
So yes, there are people who tell them, there are people who look at them, there are people who think about it, and all without anyone asking.
Because we don't know why your baby drinks artificial milk
There are women who give a bottle to their babies from the zero minute and there are women who give a bottle when they see that they have no choice, when they try to breastfeed and it is not going well, when they go to the pediatrician and the baby cries and cries, when the scale says that The weight does not increase, despite having spent two or three days giving him almost without stopping, without resting, without almost sleeping, because he barely sleeps and continues to cry when you think he should have suckled a lot because he has been on his chest for more than two hours.
And you get to the point that you feel that instead of good you are doing terrible evil, and you feel selfish, and although they tell you that it is the best, you do not see that it really is and decide to give a little bottle, to see if it does not cry so much. And one thing leads to another, and the girl cries to the chest but is calm to the bottle, and you end up navigating between the guilt of not having tried more, or having done it differently, and the guilt you felt when you saw that your baby was wrong , that maybe now you would feel if everything were the same.
So as we do not know which of the two situations is what has led a woman to give her child a bottle, it is better be quiet and avoid messing up with comments like "you didn't try hard enough", "because for the baby it's worse", etc.
Because even if it's a personal decision, it's your decision
I just left two examples, one that does not breastfeed because it does not want and another that tries unsuccessfully. Many will think that the second has a justification and deserves more respect for it than the first, but it is not so. Both are justified., the first did not want, the second could not. But even if they have it, they don't have to give it to anyone. They do not have to justify their decision as if they were accused of something and had to defend themselves and convince the other of their arguments. And even less if it is the others who ask or attack.
Respect, and there are many people who do not understand, is don't get into what others do even when you don't agree. That is, you can talk, you can say, you can argue, you can discuss and you can not share the decisions of others (that of "I would do it differently") and still you can respect: "I would do it differently, but I respect that you do so".
Because how you feed doesn't make you better or worse mother
Let's give an example. A woman has a baby she breastfeeds for more than a year, she loves madly, with whom she spends a lot of time, sharing many moments, playing, talking to her a lot, having fun with him, etc. A mother who enjoys motherhood and makes her baby feel loved and cared for.
Years go by and he has another baby to try to breastfeed like the first, but without the same success: for whatever reason, which is not relevant, he is unable to breastfeed him, as he wanted, because he would have loved to repeat the experience, and instead of a bottle. Despite this, his second baby also loves him madly, he spends a lot of time with him, sharing many moments, playing, talking a lot, having fun with him, etc. A mother who enjoys motherhood and makes her baby feel loved and cared for.
Was she a better mother when she had the first baby or is she a better mother now with the second? Because it's probably just as good before and now, and it is probably better even with the second one because of the experience he has accumulated from the first.
What if the order were the reverse? What if I had first given a bottle and then my breast, would I be a better mother because I now breastfeed or because I simply have more experience? Well again the food does not serve to determine how good or bad mother you are.
What if when he gave the bottle he did it because he wanted to do so? Well, if she wanted to do it that way but she is an attentive mother who loves and attends to her children, she is not a worse mother than later, if with the second she breastfed.
Respect, period
But anyway, is that a mother is better or worse should not worry unless there was abuse or the baby was in some kind of danger of omission of care (This is clear to us, right?) If we talk about fathers and mothers who love their children, who are the majority, then we must respect all options and be clear that we are nobody to say which mother is good, which mother is bad, which mother is better than us and what Mother is worse. No, because then we enter the game of the mothers' war, which leads nowhere.
In Babies and more Mothers who choose not to breastfeed should be respected Some attack, the others defend themselves, argue, and nobody gives their arm to twist. The debate is not such, but a cluster of accusations, attacks and counterattacks and in those circumstances nobody learns.
So breastfeed or bottle feed, every mother deserves the same respect and the same support. Look at the photo above, the one at the top of the entrance, which Jessica Byrum has given us, and assure me, if you dare, that mother does not love her baby. He has her in his arms, he is hugging her and kisses her cheek while she takes a bottle. How different the world would be if instead of looking so much over the shoulder at recent mothers we were there to support them with their babies, precisely at the moment that most lost and vulnerable feel.
