A couple of months ago we shared a writing that went viral in which it was said that the best for children is nothing that people say, but what each mother decides is best for her child. Two days ago I found in the networks another one that said something similar: to the question of what is better, breast milk or the bottle, said that neither of them, that it was best to "feed it".
And so they were answering typical questions of motherhood saying that the best thing is for the child to see his basic needs met, whatever the way to get there. Y no, not everything parents do is the best for their children, so please, stop believing that everything you do as parents is fine, even when you do it with the best of intentions.
Breastfeeding or artificial?
Of course, what you need to achieve is that the baby is fed, and that this can be achieved with both one and another milk. But that does not make them equivalent, and the reality is that the ideal thing for a baby is to drink breast milk. It is the normal and natural food that the baby's body is prepared to receive and therefore it is the most suitable option.
If someone cannot, or does not want, they have at their disposal artificial milk, which certainly feeds the baby, but has some shortcomings.
Let him sleep with you or in the crib?
The same in this case: the politically correct answer is to say that the important thing is for a baby to sleep and rest, and that it doesn't matter if he does it by your side or only in his crib, if he does it by sleeping peacefully or after crying for a little while .
The reality is that it is not the same. Is better that a baby falls asleep feeling safe and secure, feeling loved and accompanied. This can happen in the same bed of his parents, in the cot cradle or in a cradle next to the bed, if the baby feels it thus. In other words, if the baby is in his crib so happy and calm, perfect. But if it is not right, that parents consider it the best option does not mean that it really is.
Similarly, letting a baby cry for sleep is not the best, although many parents think so because someone has convinced them that it is normal for them to sleep alone and without disturbing them, and that if they do not They do have a problem of childhood insomnia.
That you carry it in your arms or backpack or that it is in your stroller?
Again, each parent does what he considers best and one of the options is better than the other: babies who are ported and who are very caught in their arms have fewer plagiocephaly problems, have more contact with adults, more vision of the reality (see less clouds and more world) and have more opportunities to improve your overall development (Because being close to the carrier observes the life of the adult and interacts more with him and with other adults).
That does not mean that going in a stroller is eminently bad, or worse, but that both methods can alternate, for example, or take the baby close when he is small and in the stroller when he is older, if he gets along and likes .
Educate him without punishment and with respect or with cheeks and punishments?
It says a horrible phrase that "whoever loves you well will make you cry", and although it is true that there are times when our actions make our children cry, it is not the same when they cry because we deny them something that we cannot give them and explain the reasons that when they cry because we have hit them or punished them (or when they cry for the same reason but we don't even give them explanations).
Of course our parents loved us when they beat us. Of course they loved us when they punished us. Love is not in doubt. However, there are many ways to educate a child, and to equal love It is better for a child who feels loved, who feels heard, who feels one more and who is given a voice and, when possible and necessary, vote. Because it is not a better child who obeys the most, but the one who works correctly because he considers that this is how he should behave.
I've told it on other occasions: my father beat me because he loved me. He got me to fear him and that our relationship was, until the last moment, cold and distant. From him I learned that love is no excuse.
And then, don't all parents do their best for their children?
No. Not all parents do their best for and for their children, although they believe they do. But this is obvious, because we are not perfect and we are all wrong some or many times.
Now, from there to say that everything a father does, while it is with love, is fine, there is a stretch. Not everything that parents do is fine, but that does not mean that as parents we are wrong we also have moral authority to judge the rest and lose respect. That this is the problem, that people disrespect and enter into assessments and judgments without the other having asked for it. Because it is not the same as someone asking you "what is better, breast milk or bottle?", It is you who go to someone who gives a bottle to tell you what is best, without asking you for advice.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | The absurd mothers 'war: let's stop judging how each one raises her children, The absurd "mothers' war" in a fun video
