We continue with the interviews with Mexican bloggers of this little special on the occasion of Father's Day in Mexico, which is celebrated just today. On this day he visits us Rafa Rojas, from the blog Discovering Daddy.
Rafa, a recent Mexican expatriate in Argentina, is the father of a small girl and in his blog he tells us about his experience as a first-time father, while looking to show dads also change diapers.
Tell us a little about yourself and your family
I am Rafa (Rafa Rojas) and I am 42 years old. I studied the degree in Business Administration and Management with a specialty in Operations Management and International Finance at the University of California, Riverside (United States). I am an only child and I became a first-time dad at 40 years old.
Professionally, I work in a Mexican company dedicated to logistics and systems development consulting and I work as Director of Operations. Thanks to technology, I am fortunate to be able to work remotely from home, which helps me to properly balance my professional life with my family.
My wife Regina, works for a transnational company in the area of Research and Development and is a graduate of La Salle University with a degree in Food Chemistry.
I am a director by profession, but a blogger by heart. I am in love with my only daughter Romina who turns 2 years old in a month. And she is my greatest inspiration to write and to live. I don't know if I'm the best father in the world, but I do want to be for her.
What motivated you to write a blog?
It's a couple of situations that motivated me to write the blog. On the one hand, I always had the concern to write about something ... whatever. But I never had the motivation or I didn't find what inspired me to do it. With the group of close friends, I was writing things to them, especially during the day of the dead, where I made the corresponding skull.
When Regina was pregnant, she often told me that her friends at work told her that they loved what she wrote on my personal Facebook page, that they were my fans. There I dedicated myself to document informally everything that happened in pregnancy and how excited I was to meet Romina. Obviously, I was very pleased with what he told me.
A few days after my daughter was born, a friend named Angy went to visit us and coincided with the arrival of my parents also to see us. Angy told them that he loved what he wrote and how he did it, and that he had already seen where I got it. My dad painted a picture of his only granddaughter and wrote a message that she saw.
On the other hand, when I was looking for information on the Internet when I knew I was going to be a dad, I didn't find dad's blogs in my situation. Yes there were several in English, but they were from parents of children 3 years and older. I also saw many moms blogs, but not dads. I had a lot of doubts about what to expect. And although I can always ask my parents, it had been 40 years since they were in my place.
Putting together all the situations, it was for that reason that I was encouraged to write the blog. I had finally found something that would make me passionate and inspire me to write: my daughter. And I wanted to share the adventure of being a first-time dad at 40 and in these times.
How has fatherhood been for you?
It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Living closely the generation of life and being responsible for having created a new human being, has impressed me. To see how a small being grows daily and develops at a thousand per hour, it is not to be believed.
Knowing that little by little you become responsible for a life and that you are also seeing a growing love in a big way, has allowed me to be able to live life in a different way.Again I was impressed and I was amazed at the small things that I took for granted before. There are fears, yes, but there is also determination to get ahead and circumvent what is presented.
If I adapt to my person a phrase from Gene Hackman that tells Keanu Reeves in a movie I can say that when I look in the mirror I see two people: who I am and who should be ... Someday those two are going to come together and meet and make me a better person and a better dad. Romina has made these two people begin to meet little by little, she makes me a better human being.
What has been your biggest challenge as a father? Was there anything you thought would be easy and it turned out that it wasn't?
I think the biggest challenge is not to despair. I have learned to be more patient than I normally was before Romina was born. It's hard for me, but I'm working on it.
Not being a dad, it is very easy to say or think what you would do in one situation or another. When you're finally a dad, you realize you were very wrong. You get tired of sleeplessness, whether it's because of changing diapers, feeding the baby, a nightmare or because he is in the hospital.
I would add a second challenge, knowing that you are the example that will govern your daughter's life. As a human being, as a man and as a dad. And it is not easy to know that you are under the magnifying glass of that little being that imitates you in everything, even in the bad words that then escape you.
What do you most enjoy or like about being a father?
The unveiled ones, the games, the laughter, the caresses… until the tantrums that already it begins to do. I have witnessed how he is discovering things and that he is not afraid of anything, he fascinates me.
But seeing how he runs to give me a hug and a kiss from nothing, he kills me. And now that she starts talking, that she says "I love you" or "I love you" and hearing her say "Daddy" melts me.
What advice would you give to other parents?
That being afraid is normal and part of being a dad. That there is nothing like discovering being a dad every day and that there is nothing wrong, except not doing anything for your children. In my case, being a girl's father, I would tell you that there is nothing different from a boy. I watch American football with her and she already gets excited with me, we play luchitas and she loves it.
Do not treat them differently just because they are women. It is our duty to teach them that they are worth the same as a man and there is nothing they cannot do.If you like to play with a toy car, leave them. Nothing happens. The love and love that girls show us parents is something very big that they don't want to miss because of the simple fact that they are not boys.
Finally, I would tell them not to worry if they carry diapers or have to change diapers with poop or feed them, including bathing and dressing their children. Nearly 2 years after Romina was born, I realize that those moments will not return and that having left them aside would have been a big mistake on my part. It does not make us less men to be part of the lives of our children.
We thank Rafa of Discovering to be Daddy for dedicating a little of his time to tell us about his experience with the paternity of little Romina. I hope you enjoyed this little Special interviews with Mexican parents.
Happy Father's Day!
