The role of parents has changed radically in just one generation. Now men want to be part of their son's life from the moment they learn that they are going to be parents and, of course, this way of living fatherhood continues during parenting.
However, it seems that a part of society still considers men as "second-rate" parents and they have to listen to unwanted comments when they are alone with their children. A British website has compiled them: Are you a babysitter? it's just one of the irritating comments parents have to hear when they take care of their children alone.
Mentality change
We are more accustomed to listening to women complain about the roles that society imposes on them as mothers and they have no reason. But what about the parents? The British website ChannelMum.com has conducted a study of 2,000 of them and it turns out that more than half had received comments that had bothered them when they were alone on the street with their children.
The founder of the web, Siobhan Freegard, comments on the results of her survey:
"Almost all issues related to raising children still focus solely on the participation of the mother, so it is not surprising that parents are fed up. Modern men are more fathers than ever, so it is frustrating for them when people are surprised that they can take care of their children. "
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Between the unwanted comments that the participating parents receive, they are especially nervous about those who doubt their ability as caregivers. Here are the most frequent phrases that have had to listen:
- You have it well trained (assuming that the "training" job has been done by the mother).
- You're doing it wrong, it should be like that.
Are you disappointed that your baby was not a child?
Are you babysitting today?
It's nice to see a man taking care of children.
I bet you're looking forward to your wife coming back.
Wow, your baby is huge!
Get used to never having sex now that the children have arrived.
Who has ironed children's clothes?
Did your wife prepare children's clothes for you?
There is always one who is late!
Wow (surprise) You're pretty good at changing diapers.
Look, you have managed to arrive on time.
You are such a practical father ...
You are a blandengue.
Where is your partner?
Oh, you have remembered to prepare the bag for Physical Education (very surprising too).
Is it hard to work full time when you have a baby?
Your baby seems very happy with you.
It must be difficult for you to get up early with the children.
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Many women complain that, when they are mothers, at work it seems they have to prove they are as valid as before they became pregnant. Well, it seems that in the case of men something similar happens with fatherhood: their capacity is questioned and hence the comments of surprise when they do something that women are taken for granted.
Although a part of society continues to see them that way, the study reveals that they have a more egalitarian vision regarding the distribution of parenting:
"The majority of British parents believe that their paternal burden is shared 50% with their partner - and the rest considers it a 70-30 division - and somewhat less than half agree that men have a bad reputation when it comes to being parents. In fact, 57 percent of respondents believe that people think they are not as good parents as the mother of their children. "
The most critical, women
This survey also reveals a blushing fact: most of these irritating phrases came from mother-in-law, couples or other mothers, in that order. I mean women.
In other previous surveys it was highlighted that, many times, men believe that the mother exercises too much control over parenting and that they would like to have more participation in decision-making about children. And this has important consequences, since it has been seen that the excess of criticism of the mother during the first months of the baby's life negatively affects the upbringing.
A crucial role
It is difficult (especially since the fact that the distribution of tasks is 50% would have to be checked), but giving up a little control and leaving parents room to be parents in their own way has important benefits for the family. There are studies say that babies of parents who are involved in parenting learn faster, even pediatricians advise that parents spend more time with their children because their way of treating them is different from that of mothers.
It seems that parents also have to deal with the excess of criticism of society towards the upbringing that exists today. I wish no father have to hear more "are you a babysitter? when you are seen alone with your child.
Via The Independent
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