Now that the heat has come and it's time to expose bodies, it's a good time to reflect on what message we are sending to our children with our behavior. How does our relationship with our body and attitudes towards weight and physique affect our kids? Because aware or not, we transmit information about it, so we better review the content and help them build a healthy self-imageDon't you think
Our attitude leaves its mark
"That dress makes me fatter," "You have more guts," "I'm deep," "I don't want to wear a swimsuit because I have a belly since I had the children."... Many will recognize each other in some of these phrases, or in others related to the physical aspect, right? We are critical with ourselves as far as our body is concerned and we show it through words but also through behavior.
And we are not alone with us: we live in a society that attaches great importance to the physical aspect, so it is common that we also talk and give opinions (oh, national sport this to think) about the body of others.
All these messages reach the ears of our children and leave them with them, a ground that will condition how they understand what things must be about it. Children in their discovery of the world and as part of their development are creating norms, rules that explain that new world in which they live. It is better to be loved than rejected. Solidarity is something positive ... these may be some of the holders of those rules.
Too of children we create rules about the physical, what is acceptable and what is not, what attitude we should have with our body (respect vs. punishment, love vs. crush, etc.), what importance we should attach to the opinion of others about it ... With all these rules, among others things, conform (and strengthen or weaken) self-image and self-esteem.
Well, do you know what greatly influences the formation of these norms and that of the self-image itself? What they saw and heard at home, the model we provide them Dad and / or mom at the time.
When you are not comfortable with your body
Everything said so far is not incompatible with the fact that we can truly feel bad about our body or that there are things we don't like or want to improve, we would be missing more! It's not about hiding our feelings or pretending for them (that would detect it and it would be worse), it's about taking a healthy attitude both for us and for the kids.
I explain myself: if you are not comfortable with your body you can criticize yourself before the mirror, snort in the fitting room, grumble when trying on that garment that you used to love or be in a bad mood on the day you go to go on a wedding date and do not feel desirable, But what is the use of this and what message do you throw at your child with this attitude?
If what we do instead is recognize that we are not comfortable and that we want to change, we seek information and improve our diet, or we exercise, or accept (and this is wonderful) that there are parts of our body that have changed for incredibly beautiful reasons such as the chest with the lactation.
When instead of what we do is give us a realistic but positive explanation, a reason that justifies an fact in an objective but emotionally pleasant way, we are changing "damage" to "growth and self-respect", and that is a very good example for You don't think so? Better to take care of yourself than criticize yourself.
Let's change, for us and for them
Of the best things that paternity has (in addition to the obvious) is that it makes us reevaluate our beliefs and behaviors to offer the best of ourselves to children. Take this to question the ideas we have about weight or physique, to change what we say and how we tell ourselves, because after all it is a message that can be recorded in our son.
I propose an exercise (which is valid for this but also for many other things): before saying or saying anything about your body or that of others stand up and imagine that you are telling your little one referring to her body. Is it still a good idea to say those words or crush yourself in the mirror? If that filter does not pass, do not say them or look for an alternative that is more kind to you and therefore suppose a better message for your child.
So you know, if you have ever covered yourself with the towel on the beach so that your gut was not seen or you have commented on the regu you see since you have gained weight, try to remember this for the next time: your son does not see you in kilos or wrinkles, your child will not remember if the bikini fit you better or worse, What he will remember is if you played with him or not on the shore that summer, what he will take for the future is if you have to cover and hide with shame or enjoy. Happy summer without complexes!
Photos: Pixabay.com
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