I have always thought that nothing can really and completely prepare you to be a mom. We can read countless books, magazines, blogs or websites, learn and know all the theory, advice and suggestions about being a first-time mother, but when the time comes for the truth and they give us our baby things can be very different and more confusing than we imagined.
During pregnancy, we receive all kinds of attention and care, but when the baby is born, the mothers go to the background. A mother, reflecting after having had her children, shares in an honest and sensitive publication, the lack of care for mothers in postpartum.
I remember that One of the first things I thought when we returned home after hospital with my newborn daughter was: "and now?". I have to confess, I was terrified. I was very afraid of doing things wrong or that there was a situation in which I did not know how to act.
Fortunately, my family always supported me and I received good advice from those who were already mothers. But seeing it in hindsight, and leaving aside that I had them, those first weeks and months after becoming a mother, can be a real challenge.
In Babies and more A study reveals that one in five recent mothers hides suffering from depression or postpartum anxietyAnd now you not only have to take care of your baby, you also have to see for yourself, but as shown in the post that I will share today, the attention we received during pregnancy, now focuses totally on the baby.
This is not necessarily a bad thing, of course a baby needs attention and care! But we have forgotten something: Mom also matters and she also needs those attention and care, especially during postpartum, one of the most vulnerable and sensitive stages of maternal life.
And Anneliese Lawton, the mother who wrote the publication in which he talks about reality about the little attention given to mothers in postpartum, explains it in a strong and clear way:
After my children were born, there were appointments.
To check your chest grip.
To check your weight.
To check your hearing.
To check the color of your skin and look for symptoms of jaundice.
There were appointments.
There were reviews and punctures.
His well-being was a priority.
I would say that, when it comes to our health system, they were very well taken care of.
And then there was me.
A first time mom with no idea of anything.
Inflamed, bleeding and sutured.
Sent home with some pain relievers and laxatives.
Thrown into motherhood with the expectation that my instincts would come alone.
That I would know how to deal with colic and night shots.
That breastfeeding would come as nature planned.
That my husband would identify my descent into depression.
That I would know how to live in my new and very strange body.
That my stomach wouldn't make me feel horrible.
And that my mind would not make me feel less than I deserved.
No one checked me.
Nobody gave me a flat tire.
No one checked my sutures, my healing or my healing until eight weeks after delivery.
And even then, it was a pat on the back and they sent me home.
Our world forgets mothers.
We slip through the cracks.
We become background noise.
And in that we learn our role ... our place in the family unit ... always be the last.
Friends, we cannot leave mothers last.
Our babies need us.
To be healthy
To know that we are valuable.
To know that motherhood, although something natural, can sometimes feel like the less natural role of our lives.
And that deserves attention.
That mothers deserve attention.
We need our world to care for us in the same way that it cares about ten fingers of fresh hands and ten fingers of fresh feet.
We need to be seen.
We need to be heard.
We need not only someone to ask us if we are well, but to check from time to time, to make sure we are.
We are not just a uterus.
We are not just a lifeline for a new and precious soul.
We are mothers
And we need someone to also make sure we are fine.
Anneliese's post has been viralized not only by the important message about the lack of attention and follow-up that we mothers receive after having a baby, but because thousands of women have identified with each of their words.
Maybe there are those who think that because we are adults we are already able to take care of ourselves or realize when something is wrong, but it is not always the case. Actually, Postpartum is one of the most confusing and dark stages we can live as women. Of course, it is not the case of each and every woman lives it differently, but many do so.
In Babies and more "My body feels broken": the harsh reality of a mother's postpartum 48 hours after giving birthLet's think a little bit about Everything we live after childbirth: the transformation of our body, the care (without previous experience) of a newborn, the total change of routine, the lack of rest, the discomfort in our body after having gone through a delivery or caesarean section, to meet our new identity that It is just beginning to form, and the list goes on and on.
Is it not to be expected then, that someone asks us how we are, how we feel and that every so often they make sure that we are well? Imagine for a second how different the postpartum would be if the mothers received care similar to those a baby receives.
In Babies and more Dear new mom: motherhood is not like postpartumWe could talk about better and easier transitions to motherhood, perhaps even with doubts of first-time mom, but without so many fears and insecurities. We could prevent the onset of depression or postpartum anxiety, working on the prevention of these when doing medical check-ups of the mothers from time to time.
Fortunately, more and more mothers are speaking publicly about their depression and anxiety, helping other women not feel alone or guilty for feeling bad when the rest of the world assumes that you should feel radiant with happiness.
Yes, more attention and care is needed for mothers during postpartum. And if medical personnel do not have the requirement or obligation to give them the same way they do with a baby, let's do it.
