A baby is born and the postpartum begins, a stage full of changes, adaptations and many doubts for mothers, new or not. At this stage we go through many things and our emotions are in full bloom.
Therefore, if we are going to visit a mother who had her baby, we must pay special attention and care to what we say. We share you 11 things recent mothers don't want to hear.
"Forget about going back to sleep a full night"
Let's start with the typical: the obvious lack of rest that we will have during the next few years after becoming mothers. We all know that it will be a long time before the baby can sleep a full night, but it is not necessary for this to be mentioned, especially at a time when the mother just wants to sleep a whole night.
"This is just beginning"
From my opinion and experience, Postpartum is one of the most difficult and confusing stages of motherhood. Fortunately it is not forever and little by little we are adapting and acquiring valuable experience that will help us to make this whole adventure of motherhood become something wonderfully extraordinary.
We know it will be difficult at first, but let's avoid telling recent mothers this kind of comments, that instead of reassuring or helping, they seem to be threatening. Fortunately, motherhood is not like postpartum.
In Babies and more11 phrases you should not say to a pregnant woman"We come to see the baby, not you"
One hundred percent real comment they told me when my daughter was born. After a few days at home, a couple of my father's sisters came to visit and that It was the first thing they told me when they entered the room where I was resting while my daughter was sleeping: "Don't worry, we don't come to see you", and went straight to the bassinet where Lucia slept.
Yes, we know that when a baby is born everyone dies of curiosity to meet him and see the new family member in the front row. But for mercy and education: let's not forget the mother. She also needs support, attention and gestures of kindness in this new and mysterious stage of her life.
"Hey, it doesn't look like you"
After nine months with symptoms and discomforts of pregnancy, sleepless nights, a very long labor, a recovery in which we feel lost ... come over to tell us that it doesn't look like a gram to us and that has been identical to the father.
Although it is true, we better avoid making the comment, which does not make us much thanks after the odyssey we went through to have it. We don't focus on looking for "who looks like" the baby, but in appreciating and celebrating that new life.
"Let go, you're going to get used to the arms"
Another classic that mothers receive a lot, especially first time and that usually extends far beyond postpartum. We have already said it before: babies don't get used to arms and it is impossible to spoil him with love and affection. We wait nine months to have you in our arms, what makes you think we want to release you after having stuck with us for so long?
"Not too ______?"
Insert any adjective about the baby in that space: fat, thin, big, small. We understand that if you notice something unusual or unusual, your intention is not to let it happen, but if you are really interested in the health of the baby and not just how he looks physically, there are better ways to know if everything is ok, such as asking how we did with the pediatrician.
"Don't complain, enjoy"
I think that this phrase, besides being annoying, can be very dangerous for a recent mother. When we are in postpartum, all our emotions are present and that awkward friend who always accompanies motherhood appears: guilt. Phrases like this, just feed her and even they make us believe that it is wrong to feel something other than immense joy.
But motherhood is not rosy and we are human. We get tired, we cry, our body hurts, we feel lost. It is totally valid and acceptable to complain or express if something hurts, bothers or bothers you. It will always be better to ask for help, than to silence something that affects us.
"Wow, you look fatal"
Oh my, thank you not only for noticing it, but on top of that choose to mention it out loud, when we clearly felt as if a tractor truck had run over us. We are exhausted because we had a baby and we are still adapting to life with himWhy not help us take a shower and take a nap to not look like zombies?
In Babies and more Some phrases that mothers are tired of hearing, do they sound to you?Any comments about your body
After pregnancy, our baby leaves that warm and cozy place where we took him, but things do not return by magic to normality or his previous state. Our body went through a monumental transformation, leaving us with a new version of us that we are learning to know and love.. Avoid any comments about your physical appearance or your body.
Tips not requested
This is something that is not always bad or negative, but that will depend a lot on what is said and how. On the one hand, of course we welcome any advice that may be useful and facilitate the transition to life with the new baby, but avoid falling into the imposition of advice with those that we may not agree with or that do not apply to our case. Advise, yes, but with caution and kindness.
Horror stories
Finally, and please avoid at all costs: tell the recent mother horror stories. This includes bad experiences after childbirth, negative things that happened to other women after having children, or stories of babies who had problems after birth.
During and after the postpartum period, recent mothers need support, empathy, love and respect. Let's avoid making unwise comments at this sensitive stage for them., and let's look for the best way to show you that you have us and that you are doing well.
Photos | iStock
