Recent parents, especially if they are newborns, may feel overwhelmed by the crying of their baby. I will try to help them identify the possible causes of crying baby doing a review of the different reasons that can trigger it.
The first thing we should be clear about is that all babies cry, especially during their first months of life outside the uterus. The worrying thing is not that the baby cries, what can worry us is that the baby never cries, it is crying your communication system during this first stage of his life.
The second thing that is convenient to assume is that the baby does not cry "for crying." He doesn't cry on a whim, he doesn't cry to get attention, or to blackmail us, or to manipulate us. All of that is false. Babies have no whims, nor do they call our attention for the pleasure of doing so, much less know how to blackmail emotionally or know how to manipulate anyone. They cry because they have to cry.
It is also not good for your lungs. The lungs work perfectly breathing and that is the only "exercise" they need.
Something is wrong?
That a baby cries will not always mean that something is wrong. Crying is your form of communication and it will not always mean that you have a problem to let us know.
Life outside the womb is a new experience full of stimuli, it can create tension and discomfort. Crying can serve to unload those overwhelming tensions and in that case all we can offer is our loving company. That will suffice, although the crying does not cease immediately.
Does the baby need anything?
In most cases, however, the baby cries because he needs something of us. In that case, if we are able to identify the cause we can provide what you need: food, heat or a diaper change. But we will not always know for sure the cause of that crying, so we will have to go on testing until we identify it.
It may also happen that we know what happens to the child, but at that time it is impossible to solve it. These moments are quite distressing but we must remain calm and seek the solution as soon as possible. Next time we will surely know how to be better prepared and we will try not to get caught off guard.
Other times it is not up to us to offer a solution, such as when a gas or an annoying deposition keeps you crying until you manage to feel relieved. In those cases, with great serenity, at most we can give you some passages in the womb and accompany it with affectionate words.
The feelings of the parents
When a baby cries and we are not able to calm him down The situation is quite overwhelming. The crying of the baby removes our instinct of protection and even causes us an unbearable, almost rabid tension, which I identify with our unconscious memories of early childhood.
If the baby's crying triggers not our restlessness and tenderness, but anger, my advice is that we prepare ourselves to isolate that anger and look at ourselves, always avoiding scolding or losing our nerves. Remember that we are adults and any painful and incomprehensible feeling that crying is not the fault of the baby. It is never the baby's fault.
Sometimes it is difficult to feel love and understanding when the baby keeps crying and rejects all our solutions and signs of affection. If the crying continues for a long time it can become unbearable for parents.
Feel useless and frustrated, even angry, are the feelings that can invade us in this situation.
We are not the only or the first to have such unpleasant feelings for ourselves, but that does not change a fact, the baby does not cry to torment us and, as I said, is not guilty of the situation ever. Serenity and internal work To learn to recognize the springs of our unconscious is the best measure we can apply.
We will see in the next topic the different causes that can have crying baby so that parents can face these situations in the best possible way.
