Animals have a component of aggressiveness that makes us face a certain violent instinct in the face of some danger, but, as humans, fortunately we have a few degrees of evolution and awareness to control these impulses, rationalize them and try to solve conflicts in ways other than " the fists "and the screams.
But it turns out that Even chimpanzees have resources to resolve conflicts without using violenceAre we going to be less people? One of our challenges as parents is to resolve conflicts with our children in a rational way, because it will be how they learn to do so.
It would be very difficult to explain to a child that he does not stick to another child because he wants the same swing as him if we have slapped him for any other reason. All logic dismantles myself.
It is not about eliminating conflict, the problem, those will always be there, when we look at nature, conflicts are generally well integrated into societies, and far from separating, they seem to contribute to their strength. In societies of a cooperative nature, it is not advisable to get too far from the "opponent."
Chimpanzees can become very aggressive, but they also possess exceptional skills for conflict avoidance and resolution. As social animals that are, there is a priority in their experience: restore stability to the collective.
In "limit" situations of mass and forced coexistence, primates learn to enhance social activities and repress violence. These animals also have different strategies for approaching the opposite and showing signs of approach and reconciliation.
With how difficult it costs us humans almost always apologize or acknowledge our mistakes... Something that, by the way, I practice much more since I have daughters.
It is true that in mammals social networks there are strong factors that contain violence, although in most cases, many of the behaviors that we identify as aggressive in animals have a preventive nature and are aimed at avoiding direct confrontation. .
And that they do not have such a valuable tool as language, what can we not do people to try to resolve conflicts with our children without aggressiveness?
There will still be problems, there will still be clashes, the conflict itself is not bad. The clashes will be with them, with other adults, and with our children with other children and with other adults in the future, and they will do what we have taught them to do to solve them.
Let's not think that "good and evil" will be clear to our children at the first exchange. It will take many conflicts, many problems, many talks, many repetitions, many reflections ... and in the end, resolving clashes without violence and helping them to solve them like this, we will be more people and a little less animals. Cheeks do not speed up the process and irrationalize it.
