It is usual the scene in the park in which a child of about two years does not want to leave his toys to another. If you take it off, you can get angry and leave the aggressiveness or cry. Parents often do not know how to act in this situation, we need theoretical ideas but also techniques to raise without scourges. And we lack the ability to achieve a positive communication with our son
On the one hand we want to teach our son to share and be kind. After all, the park fulfills a socializing function, in which the child will learn to interact with other children and play with them.
On the other hand, we cannot avoid empathizing with our son, whether he is the owner of the desired object or if he wants to take it and does not understand the other's refusal.
The pressure of the environment indicates that "we must share", and any reaction that is not of generosity or education of our children creates an unpleasant sensation. Will we be educating our son well?
But let's start from an obvious fact, most of the children, even if they are interested in the other children, are not prepared for cooperative play until about three years of age and, even then, the idea of giving up their toys to another, without even knowing it, It bothers them.
Practical cases
Let's put ourselves in his place, whatever the environment says. Your toys are your most precious possession, or at least they are at that time. We would not share anything with a stranger, much less our house, our car or our toys such as the latest generation computer or telephone. Where does the idea that children should act differently come from?
So we don't know how to act. The most common reaction is to force the child to share the toy. We can do it through authority, or in a more subtle way, by describing their behavior as bad or selfish, so that it yields in order to live up to our expectations and please us.
But of course, you can have a tantrum. And who doesn't? To achieve an understanding and, above all, to be able to negotiate and understand the reasons of our child we can use a very appropriate technique that is applicable to many other potentially conflictive situations. It's about the nonviolent communication, which is based on assertiveness and empathy.
Not only will it be worth it now, when we are in the park with our two-year-old son. As it grows, it will be increasingly adequate, as we will have laid the foundations for a way of communicating based on respect for your needs and emotions, dialogue and cooperation.
Our son will grow up. You may encounter jealousy when the little brother arrives, and overwhelm us with tantrums and screams having lost exclusive attention and having to see ourselves waiting for the child's needs to be met. He will not be able to play with us whenever he wants, he will have to collaborate and control the moments of anger towards the little one who breaks his toys or is hungry just when we had told him that we were going down to play.
Our son will continue to grow. He will go to school and he will have to be able to help us not to be late dressing and having breakfast at a time sometimes too measured for his wishes.
And then it will continue to grow. You will have to do not too attractive tasks, because in most schools repetitive homework and memory lessons remain a method that has not been abandoned. You will want to spend the afternoon hooked on computer games or want to go out at night until too late.
Positive communication
We can maintain authority by imposition long time? I'm afraid not. The way to build a family that dialogues is to start the dialogue from an early age, even when they still have difficulties for that type of relationship. With patience, with care, with full attention. No punishments, no screams, no cheeks.
Let's understand the reasons for their actions, which are born from a real need, we will see in the next topic a new technique, focused as a practical tool, to achieve that positive communication.
