Although I am not an authoritative mother and I like that we agree in a real way the rules understanding that adults have to make decisions sometimes but we can also reach agreements that allow children to own their life, I have to confess that there are things that if I allow my son to do and relying on their responsibility and self-regulation capacity have worked.
As I said, I am not a tigress, or a cow, or anything other than a human mother educating in freedom and responsibility. Possibly, and reviewing the list of prohibitions of Mrs. Chua, I should not be an example to follow.
Television
I leave him watch TV, always ensuring that they are appropriate programs at their maturation level and always being present to talk with him when something hard or complicated is shown about what I think is worth talking about.
Death, murder, evil, war, violence, abortion, mistreatment and destruction of our surroundings are not things that I can deprive you from knowing, but I have not done it prematurely and while I was a small child I looked after a lot the contents to which the media could expose it.
I prefer, without a doubt, the videos to direct television, since there are no advertisements or entries about inappropriate programs, and I have always seen them before or I see them by their side.
The computer
I leave him play with the computer and surf the internet. Our computer is in the living room, where TV is normally in any house. For us it is a means of work for both, study, information search, leisure and contact with friends.
We love to turn Skype on the laptop in bed and say good night to our friends live. We love using the English Wiki to read things about animals that interest you and learn the language. We love downloading expansions of our favorite game, Zoo Tycoon. We love looking for photos and articles on the topics we are learning from. We love to enter the Epysteme website to study and to contact colleagues. The computer is a window to the world and wisdom, as Asimov already prophesied, and it is also an instrument to work and design their work with the tools that he considers best, so with ten years he has his own blog, his forums and controls some programs that I had not even heard of five years ago.
There is no fixed limit on the hours of use anymore, he regulates himself and looks at the clock to check that the exposure time to the screen is appropriate to his age.
Rest
I leave him get up and go to bed when you are sleepy, always, of course, taking into account our obligations and your needs for rest.
I do not force him to take a nap, although it is obvious that he respects the rest needs of the rest of those who live at home.
Eat
I leave him eat what you want, how much you want and how you want. How it sounds. No rules I make healthy, varied and as natural food as possible and try to eat everything you need without imposing a fixed schedule, finish your meal or force yourself to eat what you don't like. I even let him have dinner in bed with a tray or in front of the computer if he wants to. Eat everything, ask for sweets in moderation, know how to cook and enjoy eating healthy. He knows that he should eat fruit and vegetables and asks if that day, for some reason, considers that he has not had the best possible diet. Know the nutrients of each food and is aware that you must be responsible for healthy eating.
Lactation and hugs
I have breastfed him all the time he has wanted, until the age of seven, and it has been a beautiful experience of contact and communication. If I hadn't breastfed you, I would have also found a way to offer you the feeling of physical contact with hugs and affection.
Accompanied dream
Collect with your mom, with your dad or with your grandmother or sleep only when you prefer, without trauma, without imposition and without worries about whether that can harm you, because sleep accompanied Whom we love is a very beautiful moment and I believe that no person should be deprived of it.
The friends
He has many friends and sees them when he wants or can. Some are adults and others are young children. Some are teenagers and others are their age. He chooses them by deciding to have more relationship with the people who offer him respect and affection and with whom he shares interests.
When you want we go to a party, spend a few days on vacation with them or invite them to be at home. We love our friends and take care of them, even if I am somewhat clueless and everyone knows it.
Play and play
Play a lot. With their play mobil, with their lay people, with the ex-castles, with the board games, with paintings and even with the earth, the water, the ice and the wind. The whole universe is a toy to dream, enjoy and imagine, to know.
Extracurricular
He goes to the extracurriculars he likes. Last year he wanted to go swimming, tennis and music. This year he has preferred his orchard on the farm and science classes with a specialized tutor with whom he talks about atoms, black holes, the speed of light or the beauty of prime numbers.
I must worry that I receive stimuli and additional education in topics that interest you, that I grow up healthy and exercise physically and mentally, but I do not insist on playing an instrument or being the best athlete of the year.
Freedom
I let him be free. We can spend a whole day watching a Star Wars marathon. Get into the puddles. Be one night awake to see the sunrise over the sea. Run naked on the beach. Eat with your hands like a prehistoric man. Read and ask about all the topics that attract your attention. Spend a week visiting friends without obligations and with all the time to learn about people and their differences. Cry. Laugh. Be tired. Sound. Invent stories. Run adventures. Leave your long hair. Do not bathe in a week. Sing when you want to sing. Enjoy the life.
The things I let my son do
Mrs. Chua could be shocked if she read me, but I am delighted. You are with ten things I let my son do and I feel calm and safe, precisely to see how he grows happy, full of curiosity, responsibility, empathy and joy is what tells me that I am not mistaken to let him own his childhood.
