The moment I knew I was going to be a father, my heart was filled with good intentions: I was going to be the best father in the world. I would play with my baby at all hours, I would give him long baths and massages, I would cradle him in my arms, I would tell him stories and I would sing songs to him…
During the long wait that is pregnancy, I also thought about all the things that, seen from the barrier, I would like to avoid. A list of things you would not do as a parent that, reviewing it now, more than a year after the birth of my daughter, is almost a chimera.
I will never give you pots
Because for my baby everything has to be natural and made with love. And if we leave home or go on a trip, they are done tuppers. If total, it is just organize, cook a lot and freeze. And the same with the fruit pots, it costs nothing to take a couple of pieces and crush them to make the snack.
Reality: Sometimes the sheets get stuck on you, you have to run away from home for an emergency ... or you just don't have the strength, so one or two of the emergency always have saved.
I will not always talk about my baby
Especially my friends who are not parents. Because (almost) nobody is interested that my baby said gugu-tata or smiled for the first time. If anything, very sporadically, some funny anecdote of how hard it is to be a father, like that time he woke up in the middle of the night and wanted to play at dawn, to be comforted thinking about how well you live without children.
Reality: If my life revolves around a little girl who doesn't let me see even half a chapter of a series, how am I going to have another conservation issue?
In Babies and more The eternal loneliness of the first-time fatherI will not be angry
Although she has just taken a bath and changed clothes, but she decides that this time after dinner yogurt she prefers to use it as a hair mask. They are children and they are exploring a fascinating world. You have to educate them with love and indicate with love an activity just as fun but does not involve going back into the bathtub.
Reality: Get angry, no, because it is impossible to get angry with a creature that looks at you like that, but having to get serious and tell you that that is not done, yes.
I won't buy you too much clothes ...
Because a baby doesn't need so many clothes. If at the end you always put the same, the one that is most comfortable. But alas! Is that cardigan is so beautiful and is on sale. What if then the cold comes back? And if it grows suddenly?
Reality: You have not bought anything in months, but the baby has to ride a parade.
... Not too many toys
Because babies have fun with anything. Don't you see that he plays more with the box than with the toy? Of course, have you seen this book? Look at what illustrations ... And with what the "like" paste hits. And this stuffed animal? How many stuffed animals are many stuffed animals?
Reality: Between gifts and "oh is that this is missing", in my house Toy Story could be filmed.
In Babies and more Your baby needs very little to be happy: everything you will buy and just use I won't let him sleep in our bed
Because then there is no one to get them out of there, right? Of course, the three of us are so comfortable together in bed, that you sleep alone when you wake up at midnight, and in the morning you get up hugging us, laughing and asking for breakfast.
Reality: He sleeps in his crib, but he wakes up in our bed. And the times I sleep all night from the pull, I wake up missing her.
I will not put drawings on TV or mobile
There is a whole world to explore at home and on the street. And even if I am very tired and need to be a little dumbfounded watching TV or be a little quiet on the high chair, I will make the effort and resist!
Reality: The girl calls "dad" to the cell phone and the TV remote, so that we put "Jhonny, Jhonny, yes papa"
In Babies and more The 13 daily discussions you will have with your partner when you are a parentI will not live eternally worried
Or that he falls, or that he is attracted every time he coughs, or that he catches his fingers, or if he breathes while sleeping ... Because worrying is of no use and is an unnecessary suffering.
Reality: I confess that I don't get very scared when she falls or takes a small blow, because it helps her not to get scared, but it is almost impossible for me to go to sleep without checking that she breathes and sleeps happily in her crib.
I won't let him get everything he wants with his tantrums
Although it is enraged because he wants to get off the high chair or the car, because we don't let him open the drawers or because he wants to crawl in the middle of the street or take off his coat when it is 5ºC. It is important that you learn to know that it is not no, and not always give in, even if they sometimes beat you stubbornly.
In Babies and more Why a baby cannot manipulate his parents by crying, according to scienceI will not abuse grandparents or take her very small to daycare
Because I had a daughter to raise her myself, although reconciling work and family life is like a puzzle of a thousand pieces of a polar bear rolling in the snow. And grandparents love her very much, but they will also have to enjoy her retirement.
Reality: We have gone to live in my mother-in-law's neighborhood and my father has bought a flat in the portal next to mine.
I will not try anything with sugar until very old
It's not about not giving her, but about stopping appetizing things with lots of sugar in front of her. You have to take advantage and lead a healthy life all three, which already touches, however much your moment of happiness is after a long day.
Reality: I can't resist a sweet whim, nor can I give him a spoonful when he looks at me smiling and opens his mouth wide as he moves towards me.
I will not buy you the best of everything, which total is used very little
Neither the best car, nor the best crib, nor the best highchair ... If we have inherited things as new! Well, at least we can use everything for the second one, right?
Reality: I dare not do the accounts of everything that I have spent, but at least everything remains as new and my nephew is using it.
I will never get tired of playing with her
Even if it is 10 p.m. and you don't want to go to bed, you have skipped a nap and run around the house all afternoon, taking the toys out of their box again and again, asking me to read the same story a million times ... There will always be strength in me to play with my daughter.
In Babies and more35 things you were not notified before becoming a fatherReality: In the end you take her to sleep, but after a lot of play, because the power of a child asking you to read him a story or play with him is almost infinite.
Being a father is precious, a gift, but it can also be a nightmare if we become obsessed with being the perfection that social networks sometimes portray. For me, Being the perfect father is not fulfilling these 13 commandments of things that I said I would not do, but to love him from the depths of my being and make him feel in every way I can.
