During pregnancy, all attention is directed towards the mother. From asking how she feels, to seeing for her physical and emotional well-being, the pregnant woman becomes the priority for the family and friends around her. However, things become very different when the baby is born.
Everyone continues with his life on a regular basis, but for the mother a series of changes and new paths to begin is just beginning. Although we have talked about it before, a viral publication shows how lonely the first months can be for mothers, and also, what we can do to help.
In Babies and more We have previously talked about the changes the mother is experiencing after the arrival of a baby, how difficult these first months can be, and above all, why no recent mother should spend a lot of time alone ... or feel alone.
In Babies and more Dear new mom: motherhood is not like postpartumAnd although motherhood is something wonderful that fills us with beautiful moments, and through which we grow a lot as people, the truth is that in reality, It can be one of the loneliest experiences we can live as women.
AdvertisingAlmost without us noticing, motherhood isolates us from the world around us, not only because our attention is now focused on the most important thing: our baby, but because it is an experience in which only we really know what we are going through.
But this does not mean that because we are the mothers or because we are the only ones experiencing all these changes in our own flesh, we must remain isolated or become invisible to others. Unlike, It is when we most need to feel accompanied and supported.
And this is not limited only to when we are at home with the baby. It also happens when we go out with the family or attend events, in which usually, mother and baby end up moving away from the group, as in the shared viral publication on the Adult Conversation page, which shares how lonely this can be.
This photo is blurred for a reason. I do not try to put a specific family in the spotlight, but I try to bring to light those little moments of motherhood that could generate feelings of isolation and resentment, and this captures it perfectly.
While eating yesterday, I saw this mother entertain her baby with a balloon, walking around the place, touching the pictures that hung on the walls, etc. (we have all been there) while her family enjoyed a birthday celebration with food, drinks and A very lively conversation. No one came to let ELLA enjoy being part of the group. This image, with the mother dressed in pink on the left side (while her baby plays with a balloon) is an exact image of the constant and INVISIBLE care that many mothers perform and that leaves us out of the group. Either nobody noticed the subtle work she did with her son, or nobody wanted to give up her enjoyment to let her have a little of him too. I considered offering to hold her baby so she could meet her family for a moment, but I knew that would be weird.
And then people wonder why depression, anger and resentment are a common part of modern motherhood. We not only need better diagnoses and doctors to help recent mothers. We need our families and friends to notice us, and help us return to the table again.
I remember this stage vividly, and I remember writing in a newspaper that I never wanted to forget how insulating it was during dinners and parties to be walking with a baby in his arms, while everyone drank and just caressed the baby's feet as he passed. near them, instead of offering to help me to eat without having him in his arms. I never wanted to forget it, because I knew that grandmother's amnesia would probably erase it from my mind. I wrote it so that I could also remember to help my children and their partners in this department in the future, especially mothers.
Please share this, so that people in their different stages of life and roles within their family can see where these cracks are formed for mothers, and where they can easily approach to help us a little. Even if they cannot understand it because they have not lived it, this image perfectly illustrates the division that occurs when nobody approaches.
The publication, which effectively captures a very real moment that most mothers have probably gone through, went viral, but had varied reactions. On the one hand, there are those they applaud the clear way in how they show that isolation that can be lived when we are in charge of a baby, and what we can do to help mothers.
But on the other, there are some comments that have criticized the publication, mentioning that it is not the obligation or responsibility of other people to help with a baby, using one of the toughest arguments usually made about motherhood: she wanted to have a baby, she must take care.
Personally, although I agree that the true responsible for the children are the parents, I do not agree with that last argument. Mothers cannot with everything. Recent (and not so recent) mothers need help, support and company.
It is also true that we can raise our voice and ask our partner, family or friends for help to rest for a few minutes, but the truth is that many mothers still have a hard time asking for help, because of all the expectations and prejudices about being a "good mother".
In Babies and more The invisible work of mothers: this influences the mental burden on our emotional healthIt is true, it is not the obligation of others to do so, but helping a mother to rest, eat and enjoy for a few moments of that event or outing with friends and family, is a simple gesture of kindness, that it can completely transform an experience that can make us feel that motherhood is very lonely.
