I am the mother of a boy and a girl, you already know that ... parents just learned a lot of things thanks to our children and - besides - we acquired skills that we didn't have, we really enjoyed them but on the other hand there are issues that concern us.
When they are very young we would like to protect them from everything that can harm them, then they grow up and we understand that it is better to guide them and allow them to gradually know the world. Surely the health of your children is one of the things that matters most to you, but did you know that healthy growth doesn't just depend on our role or teachings?
I tell you all this because it worries me to realize that Sometimes the search for the “perfect image” is transmitted to the little ones and I know that this can be harmful and cause eating disorders. As it is a complex issue I wanted to bring you a person who is an expert in these matters, to answer my own questions and (perhaps) yours.
She is Marta Ampuero Ludeña and is the program and project coordinator of the Health Education Foundation (FUNDADEPS). Marta graduated in Clinical Psychology and has training in Gestalt therapy, also collaborates in educational and social projects with ESO students in public centers of the Community of Madrid.
I hope you like this interview, continue reading if you are interested. Peques and More.- What factors determine the search for the “perfect image” in girls and boys?
The little ones want to follow beauty models from the age of 12 or 13, although there are also preteen boys and girls who ask these questions
Marta Ampuero.- There are multiple factors that can be decisive, among them are:
Inside of family: families with poor communication, with high levels of demand, very overprotective, with great concerns about physical appearance, not very affectionate, with bad eating habits. They make children not have a place to share their concerns generating false beliefs.
In the society: we are in a society with biased beauty canons, the image is sold that young people have to be thin to be happy and succeed in life. In addition, and more specifically in women, it is important to have a perfect body, a perfect professional career, a perfect family and to be the ideal parents. Therefore the model image that children capture is very radical.
Related to individual: We know that there are certain personal characteristics, closely related to the previous sections, which may influence the search for “the perfect image”, including: lack of personal autonomy, self-esteem, being a perfectionist / controller or very demanding of oneself.
PyM.- At what age are you beginning to observe that the little ones want to follow “beauty models” represented in famous people?
M.A.- It usually appears in adolescence 12-13 years more strikingly, although there are already data of children who in preadolescence begin to raise these issues. These ideas of how I should be to succeed and that society accepts me, appear when the child is questioned Who am I? And he begins to create his own personality based on the models he has had (family, group of friends, society in general ...) and the personal characteristics he has.
Sometimes we get a misconception represented in the existence of a single ideal of being, as opposed to all possible realities, because each of us is different. If we are unable to accept the difference between the ideal and ourselves we can fall into an eating disorder or any other type
PyM.- Do you think that the rapid development of the media has something to do, considering that children can get inappropriate content for their age?
M.A.- Indeed, the media influence the creation of beauty canons, famous people that appear in advertisements, movies, television series ... etc. they create in the younger ones the idea that to be successful or to be famous one needs to be in a certain way. Usually this way of "being" is young and thin, in addition to many other features. This generates a standard of beauty and a rejection of each individual's way of being, radicalizing thinking and avoiding differences between people.
But the responsibility is not of the media, in my view the media are a speaker of what happens in society, highlighting aspects that society itself already has.
PyM.- And are there cases in which it is the family itself that encourages the little ones to adopt certain behaviors?
M.A.- It would be false to say that it is the family that encourages the little ones to these behaviors. It is true that children learn from family models, as we have said before, and the more rigid these models are and the less communication there is within the family, the more misconceptions the boy or girl will have as himself. The family must educate the boy or girl by letting him express himself as he is. and that this is a place where to pick up the anguishes and worries so that the little one grows as a person accepting his own characteristics.
PyM.- What is the relationship between this tendency to look for a certain image and the appearance of eating disorders?
M.A.- I would specify a little more, is not to look for any image, but rather an image with certain features based on current beauty fees where, as I said before, it is believed that being young and thin is synonymous with success. This misconception causes that there is only one ideal of being, as opposed to all possible realities, since each of us is different. If we are unable to accept the difference between the ideal and ourselves we can fall into an eating disorder or any other type.
The more closed the “as we should be” ideal, the more likely we are to fall for some kind of disorder since it leaves more people out of what is established as good. That is why acceptance of oneself with our virtues and our defects is so important.
If there is any suspicion of a possible eating disorder, it is to go to a mental health specialist, who will make a thorough diagnosis and start the corresponding treatment for each particular case.
PyM.- The appearance of these disorders Has it been increasing in our country?
M.A.- The prevalence is considered to have increased from 0.37% in the 60s to 4% today, according to data collected from different studies. These data show diagnosed cases and not those people who may be at risk of suffering from the disorder or have any symptoms. Nine out of ten cases are women although the male population is increasing with this problem.
PyM.- What symptoms could indicate that there is a possibility that one of our children is developing an eating disorder? How should we act if there are suspicions?
M.A.- There are multiple symptoms and although many of them are common to all eating disorders, there are differences depending on the type of disorder. Below are some of the possible symptoms:
Some symptoms of suffering Anorexy: refusal to maintain a weight equal to or greater than the minimum value corresponding to their age and height, significant weight loss, distortion of body reality, reduction of food consumption, especially those that contain more fat or calories, exaggerated increase in exercise physical, avoidance of "eating accompanied" and consumption of diuretics and laxatives, among others.
Some symptoms of suffering Bulimia: eating uncontrollably, feeling of not being able to stop eating, fasting or dieting very rigorously, provoked vomiting, lies not to be discovered, apparently healthy aspect (which makes it more difficult to detect the disease), concern for one's weight or irregular menstruation among others.
My recomendation If there is any suspicion of a possible eating disorder, it is to go to a mental health specialist, who will make a thorough diagnosis and start the corresponding treatment for each particular case..
It is important that the family learn to manage, express and accept the emotions of each family member so that they can have a good communication that favors a climate of support and help in case the boy or girl, or any other member from the family I need it
PyM.- How to address this issue as a family? I mean how to divert children's attention to the search for a certain image?
M.A.- The key is to accept the personal characteristics that differentiate us from others, that is to accept oneself as it is. If we manage to create a family atmosphere of acceptance and good communication in which all members are able to express themselves as they are, we will have the way done.
If adults are able to work this with ourselves, we will get our children to learn it, since we are a model for them and they may be able to question other more harmful models.
PyM.- What advice can you give parents to help protect children in this complex issue?
M.A.- It is essential that the family facilitate the development and personal autonomy of the child by letting them make mistakes and learn from their mistakes, supporting their changes in terms of dressing, studying ... etc, accepting the limits established by the child without creating high expectations that are beyond the reach of the child and respecting the privacy of the child so that it is accepted and known best.
It is also important that the family learn to manage, express and accept the emotions of each family member so that they can have good communication that favors a climate of support and help in case the boy or girl, or any other family member needs it
A family that accepts the body image of each of its members helps to accept the differences and consequently to the acceptance of oneself, which helps us grow as people avoiding possible disorders.
After the interview I would like to tell Marta Ampuero that it has been very enriching and instructive to me personally, and I also wish to express my gratitude for her collaboration in Peques y Más. So thanks to Amparo for bringing us all this necessary information and also to Hernán (from FUNDADEPS) for helping us to materialize the interview.
