Throughout this week the children of Spain have returned to school after almost three months of vacation. Many children have been happy to see their friends again and happy because they have a good time at school, but many others are apathetic when they return, without desire or joy.
It is estimated that between 5 and 8 percent of children show the so-called post-vacation syndrome, which is nothing more than the way to say, in beautiful, that there are children who are not passionate about school too much and who take time to get used to, resign themselves or start to get juice while they spend in it.
What are the symptoms
The symptoms are typical of those adults who return from vacations and report that "how little I wanted to come today, with how well I have been out of work", that is, sadness, apathy, fatigue (they are tired of just walking towards school), lack of concentration in class, irritability and, in general, everything you can feel when you do something you don't feel like.
Can postvacational syndrome be solved?
Nobody likes to see their children enter the school with the face of "I'm going to spend a few hours here because I have no other choice" and see that he does not learn too much, or enjoy it too much.
In many children it is simply that, changing a vacation in which there were no obligations, there was a lot of free time and a lot of play at a time when the alarm sounds, you separate from mom and dad for a long time and play to which, more or less, the teacher says that you have to play (and sometimes you don't even play, you have to listen ...). After a few days they begin to regain their familiarity with the familiar routine and they begin to find a way to enjoy time at school.
For other children, on the other hand, the postvacational syndrome lengthens so much in the time that it stops being postvacational, to be something that could be termed as school maladjustment: The child does not find his place in class, nor with classmates and in addition to demotivated and decayed can show other symptoms such as headache, stomach aches, etc., which are usually unsuccessful attempts to stay at home that, although Many parents and teachers are even funny ("do not pay attention, what he has is a story"), are symptoms that something is happening and an alarm to do something.
That is to say, in many children the same passage of time will cause the postvacational syndrome to be overcome (say in one or two weeks) and in many other children it is not solved on a customary basis, but it is necessary to look for alternatives to solve it.
The year my son failed school
No, I was not mistaken, I said maladjusted and it is correct. I want to explain this personal case because many times the experience is transferable to other children and maybe this way you can understand why many children act in such a way and see what can be done about it.
My first son, Jon, started school without going to daycare in P3 (3 year olds). He cried the first day on leaving and that was the last time he did it in the entire course. We loved seeing that he had a good time, that he liked school, that he enjoyed his classmates and that he had adapted so well.
However, when P4 arrived, everything took a 180º turn and Jon did not adapt, or what is the same, the school stopped liking him (probably because he had changed as he grew up). At first we thought it was simply the change from being on vacation to start school (postvacational syndrome), but the thing began to become entrenched, passing the time without having any desire to enter class.
There were days when at the door of the school he cried and showed openly (very openly, you can imagine) that he did not want to go. Many of those days my wife decided (who took her alone in the morning) retrace the path walked and return home with him.
This is where I return to the issue of "solving the post-vacation syndrome" or "solving the lack of adaptation to school". I return it because the solutions that are usually given tend to revolve around being positive and "calm, that over time ...". Let's talk about it:
"Positive attitude so that the child has a positive attitude"
Whenever I see recommendations for children to go to school happy I find this advice that says that if the parents have a positive attitude the child will go happy to school.
Not that it's a lie, but it's not true either. It is clear that if I say to the child "Jolin, what the fuck, you have to go to school tomorrow, with the little that I liked as a child", the child will have less desire to go to school than anyone else, because I am Seeing as something negative and boring. However, it is not so clear that by saying "how cool, tomorrow you go to school again, with what I liked as a child, what a good time you are going to have," the child will be happier.
The tastes and hobbies of each person are their own. I can create some expectations telling him that he will be very cool, that he will have a great time and that he will play with his teammates as if he were a Happy park and that after the child arrives, he realizes (or feels that way) that there are classmates who do not play, but stick, that the games do not like too much and that after all, does not seem so cool.
Therefore, since tastes and preferences are not transferable, I don't like to create expectations about how beautiful and idyllic it will be (In fact, I never liked school, so I would lie if I said it was wonderful), so I usually just wish I had a good time and explain what will happen, without ornaments: "Tomorrow school starts, you will return see your teammates, hopefully you can play a lot and hopefully have a good time. Surely they will teach you many new things, so if there is something you like or find interesting, then in the afternoon you tell me and we look for more information to learn more " (not in a boring tone, but with emphasis on the last part, the opportunity to learn a lot of things and use it to learn together).
As I say, so you tell them what is going to happen and you explain a desire to have a good time (then it can happen well or not, you just want it) and you also explain that there will be news, many things to learn and that, of what you like, you can talk later and deepen, that It is a way to motivate them to want to learn.
"Calm down, time heals everything"
True, time heals everything and as children grow up they learn to live in the world they have lived. But the time can be very short or very long, and it is not a plan to wait and wait if a child is having a hard time, mostly because it is absurd to take a child to school, day after day, month after month, to Have a bad time there, don't relate, be sad and don't learn. For that to stay at home.
I return now to the case of my son, because the days Miriam returned home with the child, especially the first time, the reaction of the professionals of the school was curious (for us) but typical: "that you can not do. The child he has to go to school, because if he cries at the door and you take him away, he will know that in order not to come he has only to cry. "
In other words, if the child cries at the door and we take him home, every time he doesn't want to come he'll cry because he'll know he gets what he wants. And I ask: "And? Where is the problem?" In my view, a child goes to school to learn to live, to learn to respect and to learn things. A child who enters sad, angry, unmotivated and who does not feel respected will hardly learn any of it.
At that time, schools often take responsibility away (they do it very well) and pass the ball to the parents (which we do badly by listening to our children). So we, at that time, decided to return the ball, leaving it on the roof again: "If the child cries and does not want to enter, it is because here you are not getting him to feel like coming ... try to motivate him more, do things that like it, look for where to earn it so you want to come. "
We at home, parents, can do a thousand things and explain a thousand battles so that children want to go to school to learn. If they then enter and there and demotivate them, our work at home becomes an impossible mission. From our words they started (we started) to look for possible solutions, to individualize the deal, so that there I could see that I could have fun, that I could contribute something and, little by little, thanks to the fact that I was growing and maturing, but above all because they knew how to motivate him, Jon was happier at school.
Concluding
Postvacational syndrome can be a matter of a few days because children suddenly lose freedom from vacations and because they lose sight of their parents, with whom they have been a long time. If we get them to be motivated to school and if they manage to motivate them at school, they can stay in anecdote for a few days. If also then at home we try to spend a lot of time with them, so that they continue having that time with us that they have enjoyed on vacation, things will go even better.
However, if this does not happen, the child can see that process lengthened by turning the school into a hostile zone, transforming itself more into a scourge for its development than an aid. At that time, if the child is sad, apathetic, or if he begins to have headaches or tummy aches, is when more case should be done (Contrary to the usual advice of "do not pay attention to him, who is teasing you") to manage to redirect a situation that does not benefit you at all.
Photos | footloosiety, Vale on Flickr In Babies and more | Postvacational syndrome, also in children, Back to school: keys to cope without stress, more irritable and apathetic children with back to school, Useful tips to make the return to school more bearable
