Parents are hard people to please: We tell the children to tell us their problems, and five minutes later we 'disconnect' and do our things again, instead of listening to them with empathy and when they want to tell us something. We talk to them about effort, but about our own goals for them, instead of listening to their wishes, their future goals.
Until ten years, everything is relatively easy for us, it is true that at that time some relevant educational challenge may arise, but we can have it under control, whatever our educational style. However, from then on 'everything is a problem': we don't like their friends, we disapprove of their hobbies, we criticize the approach they develop in class work. Being smaller we have more ability to become puppies like them and play, near adolescence, many parents become sullen.
History repeats itself, the lack of confidence repeats itself, and the negative expectations we had heard around us, and perhaps the same ones that deposited in us
The video shows a scene in which a group of parents seems to be participating in a Parent School session. It's normal to take advantage of these moments to share concerns, I live it every week: You are going to talk to parents about 'School Success', and you find yourself allowing therapeutic interactions that benefit everyone. Yes, me too, being the trainer does not make me a superior being, but someone who is willing to 'lead' the group, but also to learn from them.
However, within a few seconds of the action, a father gets up, and begins a dissertation putting on the skin of any adolescent child, to claim that we change our eyes, so as not to suffocate them, so that they can make the most of their life but without us being the ones to mark the steps, and above all so that we understand that they need to be heard and understood.
For those of you who have children 11, 12, 13, 14 ... if I know that you will tell me that today everything is different, that they know more, and that they are exposed to more stimuli, but Have you tried to remind yourself of those ages? Have you tried to look them in the eye and listen to them without objections?
Do not be afraid, not because you are closer you will stop being parents, but rather the opposite, it is very likely that they will accept you as guides. They already know that you have more experience, no matter how young we feel, they perceive us as an equal; however, sometimes they need space to live their own experiences, and learn from scratch, because they are your children, but they are independent people whose life does not belong to you, whose goals do not have to match your expectations.
It is worth walking with them, but without putting stones on the path.
Video | Wisdom Subtitled on YouTube In Peques and More | The world of teenage girls seen from inside their rooms, The "Children see, children do" campaign or why you have to leave the comfort zone
