Because it rains? Because there are many clouds in the sky loaded with water. And because? Well, because the water condenses and accumulates in them and because it weighs a lot it falls in the form of drops. And because? Because ... Wait, son, I look at Google.
Do you recognize this scene? If you have felt identified it is that you are immersed in that wonderful phase of "small life", that entertaining moment that is the “Why” stage.
How many questions can my offspring ask per minute? Is there a way out of the asking loop? Is it normal to ask so much? What do I answer when I ask for ...? Yes, the most ironic thing about the “Why” stage is that it generates many questions in us, the daddies. But calm, that there is an answer (for almost everything).
We are facing an absolutely normal stage
Paul L. Harris, a child development psychologist, conducted an investigation from which he extracted that Children between 2 and 5 years of age can ask about 40,000 questions in total. (The results of this study appear in Harris' own book, Trusting What You're Told: How Children Learn from Others). How about?
Asking is part of the natural evolutionary process of our children, and its function is to continue with their (amazing) cognitive development. When they are younger they discover and explore the world through touch, sight, hearing and even taste (we already know how they tend to put things in their mouths). From 3 years old, (approximately, you know that in these things of development we move in age groups) the closure of the "Why", "How", "When" ... Come on, they become mini-journalists of life (although sometimes they seem rather general prosecutors undergoing a merciless interrogation).
Why it happens? Our kids are constantly developing and at this stage, in which language is settling, they want more: more language and more knowledge. They are laying the foundations of the world, understanding it. That is why this stage is so important. In addition, one way that children learn is through facilitators, guides, and that is us, the daddies, so our role in this, as it could not be otherwise, is crucial.
We daddies have an important role at this stage
The truth is that it can be exhausting and overwhelming: after a whole day of work, home, homework, etc. they come to us with endless questions, and our brains and our patience sometimes give no more of themselves. However, as I said before, This stage is of great importance, both for the questions themselves (and for the fact of asking) and for the way in which we approach and attend them.
And how we do it?
Answer naturally. It is not necessary that you use technicalities or resort to complicated theories (alas, the eagerness to give precise information sometimes makes us get into some gardens ... right?): respond by adapting your language to that of the child, but please, without using a "childish speech". The use of diminutives, euphemisms and "invented words", no matter how cute they may seem to us or as much as it gives us the feeling that this is how they will understand us better, really, really, is no good at all.
Don't ridicule him. It is clear that if you get a “Mom, why don't you have eggs?"It will make you laugh, but try not to feel that you laugh at him / her. He thinks that he is discovering everything, forming ideas, ordering his world, so there is no “dumb question”, they are all equally important, even if they seem somewhat crazy.
Ideally, always be willing to answer your questions, but If we have entered a bit in a loop and / or there is something to do and we cannot continue with “the talk”, we will explain it to the child: Honey, let's stop asking questions because we're going to do this or that, but then or tomorrow we can continue with that, do you think?. In this way we are not inhibiting his curiosity, but we give him to understand that it is something positive, but now, due to circumstance X, we have to stop for a moment.
There is no topic that cannot be talked about. It may seem to us that there are issues that are not "suitable" for children, but if you ask us, divert attention or avoid the subject will make you perceive it as negative, secret or "bad" (and therefore interesting butt or distressing). It is not the issue that should be avoided, but rather choosing what information we give it and how we give it to it. The sexualityFor example, it is a subject that usually gives a lot of objection, but it is absolutely necessary that we address if they ask: with this we normalize it and we also ensure that the information they receive is adequate. When the kids do not have "data" what they do is fill with the imagination, and that is not always positive, especially on issues that can generate anxiety, fear, insecurity, such as death.
Why does it sometimes seem to ask to get attention but really "passes" on your answer? Scientific evidence suggests that kids ask so many questions not to get attention, as you might think, but out of pure intellectual curiosity. They are in full development, and this is a way to learn from the world. It is true that sometimes it may be for us to pay attention, but even in those cases, deep down, it is "hunger for knowledge."
Answer your question with another question (You will see what laugh in some cases, hehehe). And why do you think it is? What do you think it is for? He will feel that he "knows things" and that we appreciate his knowledge and his opinion, and that is phenomenal for his self-esteem.
And if I don't know what to answer?
Sometimes they ask us questions that catch us a bit out of bolus, and we have no idea what to answer. A study carried out in 2013 found that 9 out of 10 mothers have consulted on the internet to answer their children's questions. So if you have also done it, calm your spirit: you are not alone. If you don't know the answer nothing happensTell him the truth, acknowledge it without giving it any importance and encourage him to look for information with you. In this way we are transmitting that it is not bad not to know something, that even the elderly do not know things, but that the “chachi” is to look for answers and to learn, forever, And if it's together, better than better.
This stage is a valuable source of opportunities
What your child does is not just questions, it is much more. This stage provides us with the opportunity to, for example:
- To interact with our son, interact with him, chat, and therefore know him and know us better.
- Strengthen and reinforce that innate curiosity of yours (so necessary, so important).
- Serve as a guide in your learning.
- Address certain issues. As I said before, there may be issues that we really do not know how to deal with or that we are afraid to put on the table: your questions will be the perfect opportunity to talk about it.
- Introduce new concepts and words in your vocabulary
- Strengthen your self-esteem: if you feel heard and valued, if you elaborate your theories about the world thanks, among other things, to our responses, you will perceive as “effective” and with knowledge that you can share, and that is wonderful.
It is all advantages!
The truth is that this stage can be exhausting, but even if there are days when your brain is dry Remember that it is your responsibility and that, really, it is cool to chat with that little boy who asks so many questions.
Photos: Pexels.com
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