When my partner and I decided to try to be parents, we were convinced that we would not be alone, that we had all the support of our families. And the truth is that this has been the case from the moment we knew we were pregnant until today, with our little girl about to turn the year. But nevertheless, I have never felt so lonely before the world.
It is a sensation that strikes you for the first time when, after the birth and the parade of the visits that come to adore the newborn, they leave you alone with the baby for the first time, you look into each other's eyes and think in unison: And now that?
As much as you have read, for many classes you have been to, for many instagramers moms you follow, there is nothing to prepare you for that moment. I'm not talking about knowing how to change a diaper or how to catch the baby - which also has its intrinsic - but about Be prepared for so much happiness and fear to invade your heart.
It is the moment when you realize that you are a father. That that little girl who sobs timidly looking for her mother's breast depends on every decision you make, or rather, that you make. Some decisions that you are going to make together, but alone.
In Babies and more15 tips for new parents: how to survive the first month of the babyThe loneliness of home
If there is a time when that loneliness crystallizes undeniably is the arrival at home. Gone are hours of many emotions, adrenaline overdose, doubts and first times, but always with the support and security of being in a hospital in the care of, in our case, excellent people and professionals.
But at home, One has to make a billion small decisions that no one else can make. At what temperature should the room be? How much coat the baby? Do you have a diaper on? Is the umbilical cord healing properly? Will you be sucking enough? Does it grip correctly? Why do you cry if you have slept, suckled and have a clean diaper?
For all these doubts, each person you ask will give you a different answer. And the Internet will give you infinite. Many of them contradictory or, at least, confusing or inaccurate at best, authentic follies on other occasions.
And there you are, just before a baby, afraid to take it too much and too little at the same time, doubting whether to give him the pacifier or not, watching every little dog, every cry ... thinking that a false step will create a trauma that will mark you for life.
In Babies and more The 11 things first-time parents learn in the early daysLuckily, your decisions are not so transcendent
When you have your baby in your arms for the first time, it is impossible not to think that the life of a helpless being now depends on you. Feeling that responsibility is probably one of the most beautiful and confusing emotions of being a father.
And it is perhaps the shadow of that responsibility that he plans in making each decision, stalking you to make the slightest mistake. But in the vast majority of cases, the reality is that if you care so much for the welfare of your little one that you ask all those questions, your baby will be fine. Why what makes a baby happy is to be loved, Not if you decide to give a tit or bottle, if you give baby food or make Baby Led Weaning.
You may make a decision that is not the perfect one, or even many and some important ones, and that may imply a stumbling block along the way. But your baby will drop the umbilical cord, he will suck well, he will gain weight, his teeth will end up crawling, then he will start to crawl and then walk, Dad and Mom will say, stop breastfeeding one day and eat solid sooner or later. He will even take a boyfriend or girlfriend, go out to party and you will not sleep until you hear that he returns home.
And even if that calms me down, I will allow myself to continue feeling the eternal loneliness of the first-time father.
