Let's keep talking about the reasons why the whipping is useless. Educating a child is not something that ends at three, seven or eleven. The children will continue to need us many years later and there will come a time when the conflicts we have, because we will have them, we can no longer face them with a scourge or a cheek.
If physically punishing or threatening to do so has so far been the way in which we had imposed obedience to the child or had acted in case of not having obtained it, we must be very clear that it is an ephemeral method, and that sooner or later we will not be able to use it .
The point is that if we have not worked on other more empathic parenting formulas and we are not used to dialogue, it will cost us twice to get that communication. If the child also is accustomed to obey for fear of cheek, when we can no longer use it, we will be overwhelmed.
Whipping does not serve to educate
A teenager, if you hit him to obey you, it is not enough to give him a whip in the ass. That behavior correction method will no longer be of any use, more than anything because the dilemma would be to fall into abuse or play you back. Cheeks will not help us when children grow up, especially because when they are able to shave our behavior or have the strength to return them, we will refrain from doing so.
Not to mention that hitting them is illegal and that engenders an enormous burden of violence and hatred in the family. So, leaving aside the inevitable legal and moral issues, why start hitting if we know that in the long run it will not help us to educate?
A boy who has grown up being corrected with whips or cheeks, shouts and insults, will be marked by them, we want to recognize him or not. Where is the limit of acceptable and abuse?
Acceptable limits of violence
Interestingly, not for all of us, it will be in the same place, but one thing is clear, once you start using the mild physical corrective, we can more easily "give ourselves permission" to increase the intensity. What will you do if he ignores you with the first cheek? Give him another and another stronger?
Some people believe that a scream is valid, a blow in the hand or in the loose ass, a shaking, carry it almost dragging to obey even if he shouts, call him an idiot or useless, hit a cake ... many of these behaviors are still present in The family life of many people. The limit of violence that each of us considers acceptable is different, but if we do not provide ourselves with tools to behave otherwise, it is possible that it will increase in intensity as the previous actions become ineffective.
The next step, to tell him that we do not want him and that it is bullshit, to lock him in the room, to hit him in a conscientious way, that is no longer justified, but the fact that this violence is very serious does not make the other harmless. As I say, if the first cheek has no effect that you are going to do, give it stronger?
The confidence is earned
In the long run, as I said, an age will come when physical threat cannot be used with our children. If we have not built a climate of trust, respect and mutual listening then we will not have a good basis to continue educating and driving. What will you resort to when you can no longer cheat him?
For all these reasons it is better for both of us to learn to avoid the scourge by looking for, that there are, other forms of parenting and other ways to solve conflicts, a way of educating in which we are true examples and communicate without resorting to any, or The slightest violence. Spanking is of no use, are we going to use it just because we don't know how to act otherwise?
Apart from everything, children deserve the same treatment and respect that we give adults of our surroundings. They are not inferior to us, being their parents does not make us their owners or give us the right to release tensions with them, let alone we have the right to raise their hands. As we do not do with the boss, the neighbor or any unpresentable with whom we cross. If we don't touch them, where has the idea that we can do that to children come from?
The scourges, although they were given to us as children, are useless, and being adults does not give us the right to compensate with our children by repeating the mistakes of our parents.
