Every day with a high demand baby can become very hard for your caregivers. Even with help, they are exhausting, it seems that they never have enough and they feed back the mood of those around them, so the more tired and overwhelmed we are, the worse they will be.
From the upbringing of my second child and I have drawn some experiences and ideas that I try to apply to cope with every day.
My young son, at 19 months, clearly meets at least seven of the ten characteristics that define a baby in high demand (and the other three, to a lesser extent).
From the moment he gets up until he goes to bed, he doesn't stop for a second. Drag any chair or drawer to get on the furniture, open the kitchen drawers, try to touch the ceramic hob, take the cutlery, get on top of all the tables in the house, stand on the edge of the sofa, lift the toilet bowl and throw things inside. It sweeps everything it catches. For every room that passes, it leaves a trail of destruction: drawers with everything on the floor, all things broken, pens destined, lipstick eaten, mini chain with five CDs snapped through the slot, several drawer fronts (including the door from the dryer).
Sleep little and with constant awakenings. Good night wakes up 3-4 times, the bad your sleep intervals are between 45 and 90 minutes.
Mom on demand, constantly, urgently, day and night. If you have to wait for your beloved tit he cries terribly as he cries out. At night it may be sucking for more than an hour and a half and if you dare to move away, cry and start again.
The truth is that he cries desperately for many reasons. Until two months ago, showering meant that I would cry at all times the time I spent in the bathroom, so that even today most of the time I bathe with him, very often breastfeeding him.
The same on each of my visits to the WC. I have two options: go alone and cry desperately or go with him and, if necessary, breastfeed while doing my needs.
My baby is a baby-seal. Up to 16 months I have portrayed him morning and afternoon, about twelve hours a day. And now that we have entered a frantic rise and fall with constant changes of opinion, most of their movements do so without touching the ground. The world looks better from above and from the position that suits the moment.
The high chair has skewers. The food is put through the nose, the ears, the dog is thrown and finally planted the head, all while struggling to get off as soon as possible.
Eating and sleeping are a waste of time for him.
He can't stand to spend time with his brother. Boycott Everything we do, if I hug his brother he comes running crying as if they were killing him and with obvious gestures he indicates that he loves me only for me.
Anyway, the list is long. Every day is terribly exhausting in the physical but, above all, in the psychological.
In this upbringing there are no magic recipes and this is no exception.
Understand that they are not manipulating us, who simply need more of us than the average of other babies, is a help. Understand that every time they cry they are suffering as much or more as we are key to not despair.
Give him what he needs, when he needs it, whenever he can. This is when many will come to tell us that we will never get him out of bed if we collect, that until when we plan to give him the tit, that he has taken the measure, which is a whimsical ... Let us ignore it. Their forecasts are neither true nor does it make sense to waste time in refuting them (we have enough with what we have). To be independent you must first be dependent and you have to be clear that they will not be like this all your life.
To look for help. If a tribe is needed to raise a child, to raise a baby in high demand even more. Do not be afraid to ask for help and say clearly what we need. And this includes asking for psychological help: if we are depressed, on the verge of despair, a psychologist can help us, can give us tools not to sink.
Surround yourself with people who help us move forward. It is not about losing friendships, but this may not be the best time to surround yourself with perfect families with perfect children in which everything goes smoothly. Looking for parents who are going through the same thing as us, weaving support networks (something that thanks to the network is easier) can help us understand that we are not alone.
Try out, even in tracksuit and with unwashed hair, fresh air always comes in handy, sunlight is a natural antidepressant.
Forcing us to take off at least the pajamas, take a shower, fix ourselves a little.
Not feel guilty If the baby cries With such a level of demand, it is impossible to prevent him from crying. If we feel that we are going to explode, it is better to stop and breathe, we must assume that we cannot meet all your needs to your liking every time you demand it.
