Schools are places that children will learn, but also to socialize and make friends. After the family, it is the closest environment where children interact with other children and create friendships that may last a lifetime.
An upward pedagogical trend in many colleges, especially in British colleges (including the one attended by Prince George, heir to the throne of England) is that of prohibit children from having "best friends" at school to avoid hurting the feelings of other classmates. Instead, they encourage students to be generous with everyone, encourage inclusion and avoid creating feelings of exclusion among children.
It is a modality that generates opinions of all kinds, so we will see which are the arguments in favor and which against establishing it in the classroom.
In favor: greater inclusion and plurality
Proponents of this trend ensure that in this way all children feel included at the same level within the group. There is no best friend, but friends. Encourage children to learn to be generous with everyone and avoid feelings of possession towards a favorite friend.
The term "best friend" is considered to be, in itself, exclusive, since it implies that not all children occupy that place of privilege, and that on the other hand, there will also be "worse friends". Who occupies this special place for another child feels included and valued, while who is not "best friend" of anyone feels excluded.
For its part, by preventing children from closing to a single friend and excluding others, social circles expand, contributing to being more inclusive and less critical.
Friendships change throughout life, therefore they believe it is positive to prepare children to know how to manage those changes without suffering and value plural friendship.
Against: promotes superficiality in relationships
On the other hand, one of the biggest criticisms of this trend is that it fosters superficiality in relations prevent children from building a solid friendship with another child. Due to affinity issues, as happens to adults, children also tend to be attracted to a particular child with whom they forge a special bond.
Many schools in our country have as a rule to mix classes from time to time (usually every two years), in theory to favor sociability and expand the circle of friendships.
But not everyone is sure that it is something beneficial, or that it is only an arbitrary measure that separates children from their group of friends, creating a hostile environment and robbing them of the opportunity to forge closer friendships.
My opinion: add friendships with generosity
If you ask me my opinion about whether I think schools should prohibit children from having a best friend, the first thing I say is that I don't like the word "forbid", much less something as beautiful as making friends.
I also don't like to demonize the term "best friend" because I think that having special, close and confident friends is a wonderful thing. It creates a very strong union with those special friends, a bond that unites us with them for a lifetime, regardless of the distance or time that has passed. Who has a good friend, of those who only have the fingers of one hand, well knows.
Having said that, I think having a best friend or a special friend is not exclusive of having many friends. Simply, that with that person or those people (it does not have to be just one) you have a relationship of greater affinity, more intimate and close.
As with adults, children do not have the same level of friendship with all twenty-class children, with some having more affinity than with others. That's why some experts recommend encouraging that instead of a best friend, children have a group of close friends.
In conclusion, I believe that children can have a best friend or best friends (let's call them special friends) and at the same time be kind and generous to other classmates. The key is not to prohibit creating closer ties, but in teach them values of inclusion, tolerance, respect and companionship to prevent any group from feeling excluded.
Of course, school has a very important role, but instead of prohibiting it, it should encourage children to build positive relationships for themselves and for the group at the same time. And another important issue is that parents set an example with the type of relationship we have with our own friends.
What do you think about this trend quite widespread also in some schools in our country?
